Six Faces of the Stigma of Crohn's Disease

"You're better qualified for sure," my boss assured me.

"But the thing is," he lowered his voice, "They were afraid you might miss work."

The job was a new one. It had just been created, and it involved supervising 34 writers and artists. Although it was perfect for me, one of my co-workers had been selected to fill it.

Despite the fact that I had never been absent even a single day in a year, word had somehow inched through the office grapevine of this very large company that I spent a lot of time in the bathroom. I had told no one at work that I was a Crohn's patient.

Yes, there is a stigma attached to having Crohn's disease. It has at least half a dozen faces:

1. Contagious disease. Invariably, when an acquaintance learns I have an inflammatory bowel disease (IBD), about which he or she knows next to nothing, I can count on The Question: "Can I catch it from you?" This implies that I might be a totally self-absorbed individual who cares nothing about exposing others to some horrendous illness. There is no proof that Crohn's disease is contagious. But telling people you have it will cause the crowd to scatter anyway.

2. Imperfect partner. "I didn't marry someone I couldn't take to social events." At first, I thought he meant I was too sick to attend an occasional function. Then I realized he was embarrassed to be seen with a wife suffering from a "bathroom disease."

3. It could happen to me. Sooner or later, an individual who has Crohn's disease will encounter people who feel this way. They don't want to associate with patients with this illness lest it remind them of their own mortality and the possibility that they, too, could become sick. In an effort to promote a little charity, as a volunteer, I always remind patients of one scenario. Imagine, I begin, that you're visiting a friend in the hospital who has just had surgery for cancer. If you're honest, you'll admit that while you're genuinely sad that your friend had to go through all this, a tiny part of you is relieved that it's not you in that bed.