The Decline of the Barbershop

Note: I first wrote this piece for the Amsterdam (NY) Recorder back in the 1980s. Since that time Amsterdam has lost several more barbershops.

Ring Lardner ends his famous story, Haircut, with the question. "Comb it wet or dry?" I have had this same question presented to me dozens of times since Pete Pappalardo cut my hair for the first time in the little sleepy hollow of Sidney Center, New York. Price $1.00.

Very few decisions have caused me as much consternation as whether or not to have my hair sprayed with whatever it is that barbers spray on your remaining hair. Being naturally indecisive, I would often hem and haw whenever the barber asked, and finally murmur timidly "wet, I guess." After getting my hair cut in January and then walking home, I finally became decisive enough to have it left dry in the winter.

"Wet or dry" is a phrase that will fade from the English language, just as barbershops have been giving way to hair salons, beauty parlors, unisex parlors and other shops with more efficient ways of relieving a man of his hard earned money.My two sons have never heard the words "wet or dry" because they go with their mother to get their hair cut. Whey they go to high school, and if they read Haircut, there will have to be a footnote to explain the meaning of "wet or dry."

Today we are all concerned about the equality of the sexes. Why then have I never seen a woman in a barbershop, either behind the chair or in the chair? Occasionally, I have seen a woman drop off her son and then return later to pick him up. When I first realized how sexist our barbershops were, I was greatly concerned.

Why hadn't Senator Kennedy held hearings on the matter? Why was Gloria Steinem so quiet? Why hadn't equality in barbershops become part of some party's platform?

It didn't take me long to figure out why NOW hadn't taken on our American barbershops? First, unlike other all male social clubs, barbershops are not places where big financial deals are made or sales territories carved out. Barbers are simply not power brokers.