Amniocentesis Dilemma

This is not a poem (no rhyme or rhythm in it), just some thoughts that ran through my head during my second pregnancy, which ended in a miscarriage, and which are resurfacing now when my current pregnancy has hit the 'Amino Weeks' !!.

For your information: Amniocentesis is a test done during the 16-20^th weeks of a pregnancy. Liquid from the fetus sac is taken and tested. The most common reason to have an "amnio" is to determine whether a baby has a genetic disorder or a chromosomal abnormality, such as Down syndrome. It is also used to determine if any special neonatal care needs to be planned for the baby.

Amniocentesis they say I must undergo
Above 42 am I, Oh No !!
Warned that my chances look bleak
Advised: 'You don't need a freak'.

A few days to go, then I will know
Technicians will tell me if baby is OK or no.
If a 'No' then, a nightmare is in store
I must decide, and I will be much advised,
Whether this baby will have a life.

Two miscarriages I have had before
Deformed fetus, I was told
Both times I was told that the time will come to decide
Perhaps with God grace, those kind souls opted out of life.

There are times I cannot decided left or right
There are times I'm responsible for major oversights
There are so many things I do not know
Can I then decide how a fetus's life should flow?

What if a healthy child were later in life paralyzed?
Wouldn't I then support that life?
Why then should the fetus not get the same chance?
Oh why this dilemma? I should gain some more insight.

Yesterday a Downs Syndrome child in the park I saw
It was palpable that by behavior an irritant to all
Like a leper all kept their distance,
For his pain and bafflement no one did care
May such a fate, this yet unborn be spared.
All will be well, I know, yet I pray.

The Enlightened say: 'Actions leading to disturbances in the mind - is Sin'
Thus I pray for clarity of mind to think.
I do not wish to, in regret, let my life waste away,
For a blissful heart that can love the seen and the unseen,
A mind that can accept the unforeseen, also I pray.