How I See the US and Especially Americans, While Never Have Been There

Of course I know what I'm talking about here. I know where the US is on the world map and I watch Oprah and movies. And I've met Americans;( okay that's a lie. I met one once and I talked on the phone with another one once. I was so intrigued by their sexy accent, that I can't even remember what the conversation was about.)

And after all this research I feel that I can give you an opinion about the whole situation.

1. All Americans are rich.

After joining AC this notion is gone. No JR Ewing has joined AC, as far as I know. All I read is about folks working hard and being concerned about the National economical situation.

2. America isn't really that big.

Coming from a smaller country I have no real concept of distances. My mind is telling me it's really big, but my feeling tells me that you all know each other and drink coffee together. Thankfully I have refrained from asking silly questions like: "Oh, You live in New York? Do you know X, he lives in Washington".

3. All American women have long hair.

This is solely based on the Oprah show. Living in a country where at least half of the women have short hair, I can't help thinking how they maintain long hair and have a job. Perhaps Oprah only invites long-haired women on her show.

4. All American women look incredibly good.

I hope that someone will PM me about this; it's holding me back from visiting the US. How can I compete with all those wrinkle-free, botoxed long-haired beauties? I don't want to stand out in such a way that, alarmed by my not-so flawless outside I will be intercepted at the airport on arrival. To be briskly marched off by a burly Customs Officer who will tell me that I am under no circumstances allowed into the country, unless I'll have a complete body overhaul.

5. All Americans have straight and white teeth.

This has mystified me for a long time. And I've come up with two possible answers. The first one is that you have a good medical plan, which includes dental care and orthodontics .Here that is not so; you have to pay for all dental treatment yourself. I am not so much afraid of the physical pain a root canal will give me, but afraid that I have to sell my house to pay for it.