Emotionally Abusive Men: Dont' Be "Gaye"

For those of you who clicked on here expecting to read some strange anti-homosexual rant, I'm sorry to disappoint you. But thanks for adding to my numbers; always good to raise the "clout."

This is an article about a woman in an abusive relationship and how she chose to get out of it. The "Gaye" refers to Gaye Dawn, a character played by Claire Trevor in "Key Largo." One of my favorite films also starring Humphrey Bogart, Edward G. Robinson, Lauren Bacall and Lionel Barrymore.

There are endless books and articles written for women on how to spot an abusive man, how not to get involved with an abusive man and how to get rid of an abusive man and get your self respect back. And for those who don't read, there's always Dr. Phil and Oprah.

But for those of you who like classic films, watch Key Largo. And pay very special attention to Trevor's character and her interaction with Johnny Rocco (played by Robinson). Maybe it's easier to understand using an analogy based on a film from the 1940s. Because 60 years later, women are still not heeding the warning signs, and getting into and staying in relationships with men like Johnny Rocco.

Johnny Rocco is a gangster. A killer, a counterfeiter, a womanizer and all around "bad guy." Gaye Dawn is his girlfriend, his moll, if you will, who he took from "nowhere" and "made into a big star." According to him. How many women have heard from their abusive man that they would be "nothing" without him?

We learn that she was a one time beauty (Trevor is still very beautiful in the film, but purposely worn looking) and talented singer. Rocco even states that she "had class." Rocco has taken over the hotel, run by Barrymore and Bacall, with his goons during a hurricane. He's brought along Gaye. He's on the lam; he was locked up for 8 years, escaped, and wants to get to Cuba with a bunch of money he gets from selling counterfeit so he can "buy" his way back into the United States. We get our first hint that he's abusive towards women early in the film, when he starts sexually harassing Bacall's character, Nora. Even though he's there with another woman and she's clearly not interested.