The Human Calculator's Insane Computational Abilities

On a chilly day in January, the human calculator came for a visit.

Devin and I were watching the Discovery channel when we heard a light tap at the door. I went and opened it. Herman was standing there. He greeted me with a slight smirk. His face looked gaunt and his big eyes hollow in his large head.

"Hi, Herman," I said.

He grunted and nodded. Then he went over and plopped down on my couch using body language that conveyed a sense of urgency and despair. I noticed his forehead was packed with blood and a magnificent V-shaped vein was glowing in the center of it surrounded by bright orange splotches.

"Hey, Herman," said Devin. "How's everything going?"

"Not too good."

"What's wrong? You look terrible."

Some of the blood drained out of Herman's face. "I just had a fight with my mother."

I turned down the television. "What about?"

He leaned back and placed his hands behind his head. "Well, I woke up about noon today and went downstairs for breakfast. I grabbed a box of cereal and sat down at the kitchen table. My mom strutted over, snatched the box out of my hands, walked away and said: 'Around here, if you want breakfast you have to get up with the rest of us.' So I went over and grabbed the cereal box from her and started pouring it into my bowl, totally nonchalant. Well, she took a friggin' bottle of ketchup, one of those big glass bottles, and slammed it right into my back with all her strength. Hard as she could, with no warning whatsoever. I stood up, spun around and pushed her down onto the floor. I slammed my boot right into her belly three times. Then I turned and sprinted out the back door. As I ran out I heard her yell, 'I'm telling your father about this!' So I came over here. And that's what happened."

"That's terrible," Devin said.

I stared at the television and remembered all the bad things Herman had told me about his home life over the years. Violent outbursts, verbal abuse, drunken screaming all night long. His parents verged on being psychotic. Then I remembered Herman's special gift. And I hypothesized that the trouble in his life could be the reason for his insane computational abilities.