Coping with the Loss of a Pet

Losing a pet can be a traumatic experience. Our furry friends become like members of the family. It can be made worse by people who don't understand. You may hear things like, "It's just a cat - get over it," or "It's only a dog - just get another one." But your beloved pet is not replaceable.

In the days and weeks following the death of your pet, you will experience a myriad of emotions. Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross (On Grief and Grieving, copyright 2005) has identified five stages of grief.

The first is denial. You may feel as if you're in shock. You can't believe this has happened. You keep expecting your pet to walk through the door. It seems impossible that he's gone. You don't know what you're going to do without him.

The next stage is the bargaining stage. You may feel that you would give anything just to have your pet back.

The third stage is anger. You may feel anger at the vet for not being able to save your pet. You may feel angry at yourself - or this anger may take the form of guilt - for not noticing your pet was sick sooner, for having your pet put to sleep, for letting your pet outside if he was hit by a car, or for many other things. If your pet was hit by a car or otherwise injured by someone else, it is only natural to be angry at that person. You may even feel angry at your pet for leaving you. You may also feel angry at God.

The fourth stage of the grieving process is depression. You may have trouble sleeping, or you may want to sleep all the time. You may find you have no appetite. You may lose interest in activities you normally enjoy. You may withdraw from other people. You may find yourself preoccupied with thoughts of death and may even think of killing yourself.

If your depression lasts more than a few weeks, if you find that you can't get out of bed to go to work in the morning, or if you are seriously considering suicide, you should seek professional help. Otherwise, simply accept your depression as a natural part of the grieving process.