6 Steps to Total Forgiveness

Using the Christian Response When Forgiving Others

The first response when hurt by others is usually a reactive one of resentment, revenge and avoidance. But Christians are held to a much higher standard-a proactive response of repentance, forgiveness, reconciliation and acceptance despite the knowledge that the hurt may have been unfair. 

The Bible is very clear about the Christian requirement to forgive others. The Lord's Prayer commands the forgiveness of others as God has forgiven the Christian's wrongdoing and sin. It further warns that those who do not forgive are merely deceiving themselves--Matthew 6:12-15. In general, the instruction to forgive can be summarized by this Scripture passage, "Real wisdom, God's wisdom, begins with a holy life and is characterized by getting along with others. It is gentle and reasonable, overflowing with mercy and blessings, not hot one day and cold the next, not two-faced. You can develop a healthy, robust community that lives right with God and enjoy its results only if you do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with dignity and honor" --James 3:17-18-The Message.

What is Forgiveness?

To forgive means to cancel the emotional debt owed by an offender. It is a conscious decision to give up resentment, release the pain and reaction to the hurt, and let go of the right to retaliate. "When we forgive someone, we all perform the same basic transformation inside our inner selves. Each person's healing follows the same basic script. This is why, for all of us, no matter how badly we have been hurt or when or why it happened, the remedy has one name: forgiveness."--Lewis Smede, The Art of Forgiveness.

Three Common Myths about Forgiveness