Humor in the Hospital

This is a fictional, humorous story.

A woman called a local hospital. "Hello. Could you connect me to the person who gives information about patients. I'd like to find out if the patient is getting better, getting worse, or did she die?"

The voice on the other end asked, "What is the patient's name and room number?"

"Sara Fatass. She's in Room 203."

"I'll connect you to the nursing station," came the answer.

"This is 2-A Nursing Station. How can I help you, or can I help you?"

"I'd like to know how Sara Fatass is doing. She's in Room 203."

"Just a moment. Let me look up her records. Sara Fatass is doing very well. She's had three full meals, her blood pressure is good, and she will be taken off the heart monitor in a few hours. The doctor said if she continues to be doing so well, she'll be going home soon."

When the woman heard this news, she was so elated, she shouted out, "What a relief, that's fantastic, that's such great news!!!!"

The nurse on the other end of the line remarked, "You sound so happy, you must be a close family member or a very close friend."

"I'm neither, I am Sara Fatass!!!!!!!! Nobody here tells me shit!!!!!!