Confessions of a Phlebotomist

Yes I Am a Vampire!

When I was single, my dates would ask me what do I do for a living, and I would say, I am a phlebotomist. Then I get the familiar blank stare," you're a what?" Then I reply, a vampire, I draw blood for a lab." then I get the "Ohhh" Amazing, once you phrase in a way, that is some what actually an insulting way to my profession, people understand. I really don't suck blood nor do I have fangs, but if I say I am a vampire, they understand my job suddenly. This has always been the case thought the 10 years I been a phlebotomist. Plus I have lived in 2 states, and doesn't matter what state your in it seems you get the same reactions, and similar common sense issues when it comes to peoples health. What do I mean? Well let me tell you some the more common situations I seen through my career. 

It never seems to amaze me in the winter, people walk in with the big, bulk coat sit in the draw chair, and then say "oh, do I have to take my coat off?" how do you expect me to get the blood, I love to say, "no keep the coat on, it may take me 15 times to hit the vein, but I get it eventually." But being in healthcare you can not be a smart alect like that, you smile and say, "please do" Another instance comes to mind is when you draw blood and when the needle is put the arm, you put a cotton ball or gauze over the area and you ask the patient to hold it. Yes soon as you take your finger away and get ready to get the bandage, you hear "I'm Bleeding", you want to scream "no kidding that why I asked you to hold that cotton/gauze there" but you don't you have to smile. I would say my favorite of all things that patients do when they don't use the common sense, is if the bleed through bandages, the all walk in like Frankenstein with the arm out straight and the are afraid to touch...their own blood!. I am the stranger it is not my body fluid, so I should be the one afraid to touch it, but no it is the patient, who afraid to touch their own blood.