Empty Nest Syndrome: Helping Your Child Leave Home

One day, life tapped me on the shoulder and said, “Do you realize that your son goes to college in two more years?” I was surprised at how impacted I was. Sure, we know that one day our child(ren) will leave home and go off into the world. But reality was staring me in the face, requiring that I confront the inevitability now.

Empty Nest Syndrome is the term that describes the anxiety a parent feels when her child(ren) leave home. The baby bird leaves the nest. He might be going to college or getting married but it is nonetheless an ending.

Most of the articles I’ve read focus on the mother, describing her sadness and what she can do to fill the void. I’ve even read some materials that talk about how the exit affects the dad as well. Instead, I wish to focus on preparing the child as this involves the parent in letting go as well. Reason being, there is a trend of single adult children returning home.

"In the United States, almost 60 percent of twenty-two-to-twenty-four-year olds are living at home," says Armin Brott, author of Father For Life. Divorce or debt are some of the reasons given, but I wonder if an underlying factor is lack of preparation. Leaving home is not just geography, but the context of how the parent and child relate has to change mentally, emotionally, spiritually and socially.

Mentally

Dr. Phil often says, “There is no right or wrong, there’s only perception.” Consequently, both the parent and the child’s thinking about his role have to change. During adolescence, your child automatically asserts his independence. For most parents, this is a time of frazzled nerves and multiplied gray hairs. Intellectually, we embrace this as normal, but we struggle with our teenager’s immature thinking.

Two ways that a parent can assist the mental migration is: