The Amazing Criswell

If you have ever seen the movie Ed Wood, you are familiar with one of the oddest celebrities in American history. At least, one of the oddest celebrities before the advent of reality shows turned every freak in the country into a famous geek. In the Tim Burton movie about the world's worst director Ed Wood (unless, of course, you count James Cameron, which I do) this person was played by Jeffrey Jones. His name was Criswell and he may well have been the single worst psychic in history. Heck, I predicted three dollar a gallon gasoline in less than six months back when it was barely above two dollars a gallon and I predicted that the Iraq War was conducted in part as an elaborate attempt to get the American people so scared that they'd be willing to go along with the Republican wet dream of drilling in Alaska and off the coast of our beaches. Already, I'm a better psychic than Criswell ever was.