A Guide for the Scared New Dad

Terrified About Becoming a Father? There Are Just Five Things You Need to Remember

So, you just found out you're going to be a father. Scared? Well, you should be. It doesn't matter whether the news is something you've been anticipating for months or it comes completely out of left field, the results are the same. Your life is about to change. Now, if you're like I was, the thought of such an overwhelming responsibility and commitment is just about the most terrifying thing you've ever contemplated. This is normal. You can freak out if you like, I did. Go ahead, I'll wait...

Done? Okay, good. Now, fortunately for you, I've concocted an elaborate analogy that will hopefully make the idea of being a dad a little less scary. If I can do it, anyone can.

Being a dad is no harder than owning a dog. Dogs have basic needs that must be fulfilled, and so does a baby.

Let me clarify. I'm not saying that a baby is like a dog. You shouldn't tie your baby up in the backyard or feed her table scraps or take her hunting. All I'm saying is that the basic components of dog ownership are similar to the basic components of being someone's father. Guys like dogs and guys like simple, easy to understand guides. So, here's my attempt at explaining something scary by comparing it to something familiar and easy.

If you can take care of a dog, you already possess many of the necessary skills to be a father. There are only five basic things you need to provide in either case. Here, in no particular order, are those things.

Thing #1: Food. This is basic. You wouldn't let your dog go hungry. You understand that it has to be fed, usually a couple times a day, and you are perfectly willing to do so. Babies are no different, they get hungry. Whereas a dog might let you know it's hungry by nudging its food bowl or whimpering softly, a baby will convey the same message by wailing uncontrollably. This is your cue to mix up a bottle or open a jar of strained peaches. Eventually you will learn to separate the cries that mean hunger from those that mean other things. Simple problem solving applies to babies. Figuring out what she wants + providing that thing = happy baby. Easy as that.