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10 New Year's Resolution Suggestions for Lindsay Lohan

By WC, published Nov 28, 2006
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Rating: 3.8 of 5
It's a shame when a talented actress is more famous for her personal life than her onscreen accomplishments, but such is the case with Lindsay Lohan.

She first rose to fame as the fresh-faced star of Disney movies like Freaky Friday when she was barely a teen. Back then, Lindsay Lohan was wholesome, as PG-rated as the films she starred in. That all changed when she hit 18. A new Lohan was born, one that liked to stay out all night and had a rumored fondness for men, alcohol and drugs. Before our very eyes, America's freckle-faced sweetheart had metamorphosed into a man-hungry, booze-swilling party machine.

But I haven't given up on Lindsay. A new year is just around the corner, and with that comes the opportunity for a fresh start. Here are 10 New Year's resolutions I think Lindsay Lohan should consider, listed in no particular order:

New Year's Resolution #1: Wear Panties
The life of a celebrity is one that is shadowed by the constant presence of paparazzi.  A star's every move is recorded for posterity, whether they're striding down the red carpet in Cannes or heading into Whole Foods for a grocery run in Los Angeles. On at least a handful of occasions, Lindsay Lohan has been photographed in a way that makes it clear she wasn't wearing panties. The most recent of these episodes took place in mid-November in London. Lindsay was getting out of a limousine on her way to an event, and in the process of doing so, her ladyparts were exposed (nice wax job, by the way). Some women use extreme heat as an excuse for not  wearing undergarments, but this was London in November. Not exactly triple-digit temperatures.  Cover up, Lindsay. We've seen enough, thank you.

10 New Year's Resolution Suggestions for Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay Lohan changes her boyfriends the way most women change their minds An excellent New Year's resolution for her? Try celibacy for a month or two.

Credit: GQ

Copyright: GQ

Takeaways
  • Lindsay Lohan makes a tacky blonde.
  • Lindsay Lohan is an awful driver.
  • A nutritionist would do Lohan a world of good.
Did You Know?
Lindsay Lohan changes boyfriends the way most women change their minds.
Comments
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This is hilarious stuff. Keep it up. Ever thought about writing comedy skits?

Posted on 12/01/2006 at 10:12:00 AM

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