10 New Year's Resolution Suggestions for Jessica Simpson

If anyone needs some advice on coming up with 10 whole New Year's resolutions for 2007, it's Jessica Simpson. She seems like a lost bird out of the nest, who needs a little direction. Yes, she is incrediblysuccessful. But is she happy?

Oh, Jessica, so many suggestions, and only 10 resolutions. You can do it, hang in there, we're going to count all the way up to 10. Ready? We start with number 10 and count backwards. Sorry for the confusion, it can be quite complicated to count backwards.

# 10. New Year's Resolution Suggestions for Jessica Simpson:

Get some extensions.

While your short-haired look makes you look sassy and mature, the public does not want a sassy and mature Jessica Simpson in 2007. They want their long-haired, naive, ditzy Jessica Simpson to stay just as she is. Shh..we won't tell they're extensions, promise.

#9. New Year's Resolution Suggestions for Jessica Simpson:

Come down to reality

No, not reality TV. We all see how well that worked out for you. Try to put some reality in those lyrics of yours. In 2007 please spare us lyrics like the ones in I Belong to Me:

"I don't need somebody to complete me

I complete myself

Nobody's got to belong to somebody else"

If only this were true. Contractually, you don't belong to you, you belong to Sony, and your dad. And, let's face it, with such a high celebrity status, you belong to everyone.

#8. New Year's Resolution Suggestions for Jessica Simpson:

Get educated.

Sure, you could continue on being America's Number one Pop Princess (sorry Britney, Christina, Lindsay and Hilary), and make hit songs. But how about going to college and earning a degree? You pick the subject. You pick the college.

#7. New Year's Resolution Suggestions for Jessica Simpson:

Drop the Stepford Child vacant look.

While your Stepford Child vacant look has worked up until now, you can no longer play virginal ingenue. There is knowledge behind those eyes, based on some very public life learning experiences. Drop the Stepford Child facade and just get real.

#6. New Year's Resolution Suggestions for Jessica Simpson:

Forget John Mayer.