Fifty Years Charlie

Traveling by train feels like going through the past and the present.It´s a breath of life when your going through valleys and mountains, the steam that escapes with every whistle during the journey is the yearning that waits at our destiny and the sadness of what was left behind. The railroad breaks the silence of mountains and the plains...life, reality... memories: fifty years, Charlie.

The days before my birthday party were a real torment for me, feeling sad for growing old as I observed the energy of my young children. Anthony annoyed me with his double meaning jokes that he dared tell in front of his mother and his sisters who would just giggle. He would rush to answer the phone in case it was his girlfriend or one of his buddies. His body strong and athletic, his smile bold and provocative made me feel like a grumpy old man and made me try to forget that I would soon be fifty.

Expenses and preparations took all the family´s attention for several days while I felt bad for accepting the damn party where everybody would know my age and I was not ready to accept it with resignation. What selfishness, what vanity, what ingratitude towards life.

My photography studio was right outside my house, it was a prosperous business, and we had a good life, no luxuries, and debt free. My adorable and beautiful wife Rosalyn was an exemplary wife and mother. In the dark room of my studio, she stared and asked about the glumness that I had shown for a long time, I tried to look very busy trying to ignore her questions as I cut photographic paper with the cutter... she waited... I finished cutting and setting the photographs;I was going to growl at her but her innocent and loving gaze stopped me for an instant, but then I reacted yelling with rebellious anger for getting old. She smiled taking my hands in hers showing her love and happiness for being my wife and saying that we should celebrate joyfully.