Political Mumbo Jumbo

I have a plan to end the war.

What's the plan?

I can't say. It's confidential.

How will I know that it will work?

Trust me.

Why should I trust you?

Because I'm honest and forthcoming.

How can you be forthcoming if you don't tell us your plan?

Vote for me and you shall see.

What will I see?

The end of the war.

Which war? The war in Iraq or the war in Afghanistan?

I'll let you know after I'm elected.

Will we bring our troops home?

Probably not. They are needed elsewhere.

Where?

I can't say. It's confidential.

Can you tell me anything of value?

Yes, of course, after I'm elected. Any other questions? I want to be perfectly candid and honest with you.

And forthcoming.

Of course, and forthcoming.

May I ask if you have a time line for withdrawing our troops?

You may ask.

Are you going to tell me what that time line is?

Of course not.

And why not?

Because it is confidential. But rest assured, it is part of our plan.

Which you won't discuss because...

It's confidential.

May I say that this discussion is absurd?

Certainly you may say it. Thank you for asking such insightful questions. I hope that you are satisfied.

Oh sure, I'm satisfied. I like to be told absolutely nothing.

Good. I hate to waste a person's time. Goodbye and have a nice day.