Apologies

Nobody is exempt from making a mistake, from hurting the feelings of a loved one or a friend, from creating a situation that brings pain and/or misery to others. Most of the time, after realizing that we are at fault, we offer humble apologies for the offending action and hope for the best outcome.

There are those who refuse to apologize for anything they bring about that injures another person. They see it as some form of weakness and vulnerability. Backing down is not an option. Sadly, theirs is a world of absolutes, right versus wrong, black and white. There are no gray areas for some.

I would argue that admitting ones mistakes leads to a better understanding of ourselves and our relationship to those around us. Taking the initiative to say oops, I'm sorry, (and mean it) is a humbling experience as well as cleansing for the mind, spirit, and soul. It's an act of giving, that demands introspection and self evaluation if done properly. When extending an apology, we must open ourselves fully to the actions and reactions of those receiving it, whatever the final result.

Two problems arise when dealing with apologies. Both are derivatives of the false expectancy of outcome. First, there's insincerity. Saying I'm sorry for harming another, mentally or physically, should not roll off the tongue lightly. It should not be an automatic response to getting caught in the act of the transgression. Too often you hear a quickly uttered apology with no hint of true remorse. It's sad that we speak those words when we are not really sorry for the act. Just as often, we make little or no attempt to put in place measures to keep the offending action from happening again, and again, and again. Sometimes we give an apology just because we think it's what we should do whether we feel like it or not. It become a ritual, an insincere ritual. If at it's core it's only window dressing, then we should think twice about offering it at all until our motivations change.