The Cathedral

I had never visited a cathedral before, but somehow today it seemed like the only thing that could soothe my troubled soul. I entered the hall of grandeur boasting centuries of footsteps and immediately felt the calm wash over my body.

The tradition and normalcy in the service were what I craved. The ceremony that has had years of perfection would be perfect for my thirsty soul. I sneaked into the pew at the very back because I wanted to be unnoticed. I intended to watch the service unfold, to observe from the purview of an outsider, not to become involved in the obvious familiarity of the people who often graced this building with its stained glass and intricate sculptures.

I needed peace, I needed to see this as if I was watching a movie but to also the embrace the magic that was being sought by the congregation. It was dark and I could smell the years of polished oak as I sat in the pew. The effect of the setting was astounding, I felt just as invisible and cloaked as I desired.

Suddenly there was movement beside me. I tried desperately to ignore it, to remain enclosed in my darkness. I was here to hide, to seek refuge from myself. The voice interrupted my reverie, broke through my solitude and sliced through my newfound calm.

"You cannot find it here", whispered the raspy voice.

I turned and looked at the face. Lips curled in cynicism, mockingly.

"What you seek, you will not find here", it chanted.

"Who are you?" my voice trembled.

"I am you, and what you seek is not here, dear".

Bony fingers pointed at my chest. "What you need can only be found in there".

I turned around and I was alone.

Knees trembling, I fought threatening tears to find the exit. I felt cold as I walked down the steps and out into the street, fresh with the knowledge that no matter how hard I tried, I would never be able to hide from myself.