50 Little Known Facts About Nancy Pelosi *

With the recent change in the congressional balance of power, presumed Speaker of The House Nancy Pelosi has very much been in the news. Just who is this Nancy Pelosi who will soon lead our legislative branch? Here are some factoids that have been collected about Madame Speaker-Elect listed now for your consideration. If you didn't vote for her, too bad: it's too late to change your vote now.

1. Just to be clear: Nancy Pelosi fought Chuck Norris in a cage match and won handily six out of six rounds.

2. Nancy Pelosi votes in two ways: bitchin' and super-bitchin'

3. Nancy Pelosi can sing The Nationl Anthem in 4-part harmony all by herself

4. Nancy Pelosi is the sole author of The Washington Post

5. Nancy Pelosi can cast 265 votes per second

6. Nancy Pelosi can bench press Dennis Hastert

7. Nancy Pelosi regularly skips breakfast and feels no ill effects

8. Nancy Pelosi repelled down the capitol dome with Ted Kennedy strapped to her back - twice

9. Nancy Pelosi is Harold Ford, Jr's mother

10. Nancy Pelosi charges Mastercard 35% on cash advances

11. Nancy Pelosi created and executive produces Jerry Bruckheimer

12. Nancy Pelosi can turn Jimmy Carter into peanut butter by staring at him really hard

13. Nancy Pelosi was the director's first choice to play Magneto in The X-Men

14. Nancy Pelosi calls for a quorum with an alpine horn she fashioned out of Tom Delay's collar bone

15. Nancy Pelosi can darn 2000 socks a minute

16. Nancy Pelosi's favorite tv show is "The Nancy Pelosi Show"

17. Nancy Pelosi invented the pompadour

18. Nancy Pelosi kicked the Lincoln Memorial in the shin and it began to cry

19. We will colonize Mars because Nancy Pelosi says so

20. Nancy Pelosi invented Chinese

21. Nancy Pelosi has a chicken that lays fabrage eggs

22. The 50 stars on the American flag represent all the people Nancy Pelosi has intentionally maimed with numbchucks.

23. Nancy Pelosi was elected to represent California because she has the power to control earthquakes with her mind.

24. 87% of the books in the Library of Congress are about Nancy Pelosi