A Different Kind of Christmas Story

It all started, as my girlfriend Juliebird related to me the story, when my family tripped up to the mountains one Christmas to cut down a live Christmas tree in the old fashioned family way. This was to be the start of a warm homey Christmas tradition in the making.

They had a fun family outing. It was very jolly-jolly, ho-ho and ‘a great time was had by all' and all was right with the world. So far, so good.

They got the tree home and come to find, her cat has an unusual fascination with the tree. Not unusual for cats, but this cat was literally 'obsessed'.

Turns out, there was something "in" the tree. Turns out, there was a rodent in the tree a la "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation". Only it wasn't a friendly furry little squirrel. It was, as it turns out, a rat in the Christmas tree.

So funny and poignant was this story that it struck a chord in me, literally. Hey…thinking swiftly,….you can rewrite the "Twelve Days of Christmas" song to reflect the new first verse. Therefore and furthermore, this story then inspired my variation of "The Partridge in a Pear Tree".

"The Twelve Days of Christmas-Revisited"

1. On the First Day of Christmas, my true love gave to me……a rat in the Christmas tree….

2. On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me…..two lumps of cheese……And a rat in the Christmas tree…

3. On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me….three exterminators, Two lumps of cheese,…and a rat in the Christmas treeeeee…

4 .On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me….. four mouse traps, three exterminators, two lumps of cheese…and a rat in the Christmas treeeee…

5 .One the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me….five caaaans of raaaaaaid……! Four mouse traps, three exterminators, two lumps of cheese…and a rat in the Christmas treeeee…..