10 New Year's Resolution Suggestions for Jessica Simpson

Before she became a ditzy, divorced, money spending popstar, Jessica Simpson was a sweet, church going teenager who had vowed to save herself for marriage and made no secret about it. Her dad, Joe Simpson, is a former preacher who instilled the ideals of Christianity into Jessica during her childhood. Because Jessica Simpson has had a rough and incredibly eventful year, I have ten suggestions on how she can ring in 2007 with a better head on her shoulders.

1. Admit that your dad is creepy
Joe Simpson received negative attention in 2004 after making comments about his daughter's "double-D" sized breasts. In an interview with GQ Magazine, Mr. Simpson is quoted as saying, "You can't cover those suckers up!" Jessica has stood by her father since the interview but I would suggest that if it comes up again in 2007, Jessica Simpsonshould just say that no, it isn't normal or appropriate for a father to speak of his daughter's anatomy the way her father did.

2. Put some clothes on
After starring in 2005's The Dukes of Hazzard movie, Jessica Simpson decided that it was okay to portray herself like the rest of the entertainment industry by parading her scantily clad body around for promotional efforts. She wore some very short shorts for both the movie and for the accompanying music video for the song, "These Boots Are Made For Walkin", which she recorded for the film's soundtrack. Looks like Jessica's dad forgot to mention to her about the modesty that Christian women are supposed to portray. He must have been too busy trying to cover up her boobs.

3. Stop playing dumb
On more than one occasion during her Newlyweds show, Jessica Simpson made it clear that she lacks a few brain cells. Questioning whether or not Chicken of the Sea tuna is chicken or tuna, thinking that buffalo wings actually come from buffalos, and not being able to pronounce "platypus" proved that Jessica was an asset to the show's success. However, I don't think she really is that stupid. Sure, we all have our dumb blonde moments but in post-Newlyweds interviews and life choices, it is obvious that Jessica is much smarter than we give her credit for. So Jessica, stop the act.