Tom's Scientology a Cover Up?

These days you can’t go anywhere without hearing about Tom Cruise and his scientology. People talk about how he’s all crazy and how he’s kidnapped Katie Holmes and forced her to marry him and have a child. But personally I think he’s faking it. Tom Cruise doesn’t really believe in scientology he’s just saying that to be controversial in order to cover up what is really his big flaw.

He’s short.

We all know people who are short and we all know how sensitive people are about it. Short people always get picked on by bullies just because of their size. Short people always get picked last in sports. Short people can’t ride on the rides at Disneyland. Short people are the last ones to know when it rains. Plus the remake of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory has made the Oompa Loompa jokes re-emerge. Yes, being short is rough and they all desire to be taller. I think a famous poet, Skee-Lo, said it best when he said “I wish I was a little bit taller, I wish I was a baller, I wish I had a girl who looked good I would call her, I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat and a ’64 Impala.” Don’t all short people feel that way? Well except for maybe the rabbit in a hat with a bat part.

Tom Cruise obviously is very self conscious about his height. Have you ever noticed how much his height changes? Search for “Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes” in Google and then look at images of them. You’ll find that Tom Cruise’s height compared to Katie Holmes’ is very erratic. Sometimes Tom Cruise is a good six inches shorter than Katie, sometimes they are the same height and sometimes Tom Cruise is a little taller. Its clear Tom is doing something to change his height. Sometimes he must wear shoes with lifts. Other times he probably tells Katie to slouch all the time. After all if he forced Katie to marry him I think he can force her to slouch. Sometimes, when we can’t see the full picture of them, I bet Tom is standing on top of something to make him taller.