How You Can Use the Bible, and Your Own Intellect, to Dissuade Yourself from Christian Fairy Tales

According to modern Christian eschatology, there will come a day when a man named Jesus comes back from heaven to claim his kingdom, as supposedly promised in the Bible. Christian leaders have capitalized immensely off of this crazy idea, particularly as seen in Tim LaHaye's "Left Behind" bestselling series of poorly-written books. This idea is roughly built around the imagery of the book of Revelations. The events preceding the Second Coming include massive war, the corruption of the church, and the rise of several figures who will each be called "the Antichrist," the greatest and last of which will be blind in one eye. These events, also referred to as the Parousia, have been predicted as imminent throughout history.

Adapted to fit the modern geopolitical situation, Second Coming mythology predicts a nuclear war between Israel, and Russia and Iran, who are symbolized by the figures Gog and Magog. Sometime around this war, God will begin saturating the Earth with various supernatural punishments, reminiscent of the plagues of Egypt. In most Christian belief structures, this belief is called the "Tribulation." Shortly thereafter, Jesus will return to Earth, all members of the true Christian church will ascend to heaven, and Satan will be bound for a thousand years. After this millennial imprisonment, there will be one last battle called the Apocalypse, the kingdom of God will be restored, and Judgment Day will come, in which everyone not currently in heaven will be divided between eternal life in heaven and incineration in hell.