If Obama is the Anti-Christ, McCain Must Be Heir Apparent to the Dalai Lama

And American Voters Desperately Need Education

Persistent speculation that Barack Obama is the anti-Christ foretold in the Biblical Book of Revelation reached absurd new heights yesterday when nationally syndicated talk show host Glenn Beck asked Pastor John Hagee of Cornerstone Church, on national television, if Barack Obama was the anti-Christ. Hagee, who had just declared his support for Obama's rival John McCain in the U.S. Presidential race, answered, "Not a chance."

In a country defined by its Constitutional separation of Church and State, how can the question whether one of the candidates running for President is the anti-Christ be considered newsworthy?

The anti-Christ is a purely religious concept. For this reason alone, the discussion of Barack Obama as a potential anti-Christ has no place in the political arena. Is anyone asking that question of political candidates across the board? No, of course not. Because the question is ridiculous.

Barack Obama, the Messiah

If Obama might be the anti-Christ, isn't it also possible that Barack Obama is the Messiah? Or maybe Barack Obama is the heir apparent to the Dalai Lama?

Perhaps John McCain is Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster, or the Chupacabra. We'll never know if we don't ask, right?

John McCain, Heir Apparent to the Dalai Lama

What of reports that John McCain plans to meet today with the Dalai Lama- does this mean McCain is the heir apparent to the Dalai Lama? Why else would these men arrange to meet? While Dalai Lama might seem like a positive moniker for McCain on the surface, McCain's assumption of the role of Tibetian leader would tend to invalidate his U.S. citizenship and disqualify him from serving as U.S. President. Oops.

McCain's association with the Dalai Lama might even raise questions about his current citizenship status. "McCain Is an Alien," that next headline might scream. Hadn't we better check into McCain's possible alien status now, rather than wait for the press to break the story?

New Political Litmus Test

The political litmus test to prove qualification for Federal office could get ridiculously long.

Step 1: Religious consensus on candidates' anti-Satanic status.