Calypso Flavored Lemonade: The Taste of Stink Island

Shopping at a supermarket in Ojai, California I came across a flashy advertisement of neon construction paper taped to the shelf and proclaiming: New Item! The item in question was located in the beverage aisle: Calypso.

Calypso is the brand name for a series of flavored lemonades bottled by the King Juice company out of Milwaukee, Wisconsin. The drink I purchased came in 20 ounce, thick glass bottles which featured pictures of fruit on the label. Along with the fruit there was also a mascot: a lizard wearing a straw hat and clutching a bottle with his tail. The slogan above the product name states: Taste of the Islands. Then below the designated flavor it states: real lemon bits. The current price for each bottle of lemonade at this store was $1.79 plus tax.

As a constant drinker of soda (weaned myself off Mountain Dew and switched to Dr. Pepper) I was in the beverage aisle that day searching for something different. I decided to give Calypso lemonade a chance and bought all of the available flavors at the store to try; aside from just plain lemonade. This means I went home with: Strawberry, Kiwi, Tropical Mango, and Black Cherry.

The first bottle I opened was Calypso Strawberry Lemonade. Immediately my sense of smell was overcome by a foul odor. The strawberry lemonade smells exactly like dirty, musty socks like one might find under an active teenager's bed having stewed in sweat and filth for months. I fought the smell and still dared to sample the liquid wares within the bottle. It tasted just like it smelled. Even if the strawberry had been a pleasing flavor there was no way I could finish drinking it with that odor.

Next came Tropical Mango. The easiest way to describe the taste and sensation of this lemonade in my mouth would be to compare it to what I figure taking a bottle of cleaning chemicals out from under the sink and swigging from it would taste like. There was some fruit taste amongst the chemical burn, but it tasted like rotten fruit.