Do Men and Women Speak Different Dialects?

Deborah Tannen's Genderlect theory may be simple and easy to understand, but my life and what I have observed are anomalous to this theory. Tannen claims that men are more concerned with power while women focus on solidarity, leading to "cross-cultural" misunderstanding between the sexes. Due to this fundamental difference, men and women think of relationships differently and talk about problems in different ways. On the contrary, I have found that among my circle of friends and acquaintances there are not blatant miscommunications and misunderstandings between the sexes based in these areas. Misunderstandings that arise are rooted in personality and world view differences, not gender.

Tannen claims that men view the world through the lens of hierarchy, and therefore have trouble asking for directions from gas station attendants or convenience store clerks. Women, on the other hand, are only concerned with making connections in Tannen's theory. I have been in the car with plenty of men who will stop and ask for directions. They are not concerned with giving the gas station attendant a "one up" on them. While living in Morocco, a more patriarchal and stratified society than the U.S., I witnessed many men asking for information from others who were clearly of lower social status. The young men that I traveled with were the sons of ambassadors and business gurus, yet they also had no problem letting a Western woman with inferior language skills take charge of situations. This did not insult their dignity because they freely admitted that I was just as capable, if not more capable, of getting good deals for public transportation or lodging.