I always cringe when I see a well-meaning grandma, or anyone for that matter, say to a little child: "What a good girl you are! Here's a cookie!" Most of us, early on, learned to see sweet foods like cookies, or ice
cream, or candy, as a "treat", a reward for good behavior or hard work, or perhaps something to make us feel better whenever we have an "owie".
Little do we know that these "rewards" often set us up for problems later in life. Do you "reward" yourself with sweet rich treats? Or, maybe, you treat yourself by going on a buying binge at the mall with your credit card. Perhaps you prefer to celebrate by going out for an all-night martini marathon? If any of this sounds familiar, you might want to read on. These behaviors (rewarding ourselves with sweets, spending, or alcohol) are so deeply bred into our culture, that few of us actually stop to think about their true effect on our lives.
If your beloved child got an A on his report card, would you say, or do, any of these things to him:
"Here, have this sugar and fat-filled disc of empty calories - if I do this enough times, you'll eventually so associate its taste and texture with comfort, that you'll be unable to control your consumption of it as an adult and struggle with being overweight for the rest of your life."
"Here, take this artificially flavoured and coloured Apple-tini, you'll feel kind of loose and free for a couple of hours, and if you drink enough of it you'll get really nauseous and sick. Tomorrow, you'll feel even worse, and it'll probably wreck your whole day. But who cares, drink it now, you'll feel great for a little while, anyway."
"Here, take my credit card and buy yourself whatever you want, you deserve it. We can't really afford it, but it'll make you feel good for a little while, even if you eventually forget what you bought, and don't even use it or wear it."
Little do we know that these "rewards" often set us up for problems later in life. Do you "reward" yourself with sweet rich treats? Or, maybe, you treat yourself by going on a buying binge at the mall with your credit card. Perhaps you prefer to celebrate by going out for an all-night martini marathon? If any of this sounds familiar, you might want to read on. These behaviors (rewarding ourselves with sweets, spending, or alcohol) are so deeply bred into our culture, that few of us actually stop to think about their true effect on our lives.
If your beloved child got an A on his report card, would you say, or do, any of these things to him:
"Here, have this sugar and fat-filled disc of empty calories - if I do this enough times, you'll eventually so associate its taste and texture with comfort, that you'll be unable to control your consumption of it as an adult and struggle with being overweight for the rest of your life."
"Here, take this artificially flavoured and coloured Apple-tini, you'll feel kind of loose and free for a couple of hours, and if you drink enough of it you'll get really nauseous and sick. Tomorrow, you'll feel even worse, and it'll probably wreck your whole day. But who cares, drink it now, you'll feel great for a little while, anyway."
"Here, take my credit card and buy yourself whatever you want, you deserve it. We can't really afford it, but it'll make you feel good for a little while, even if you eventually forget what you bought, and don't even use it or wear it."
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- Your "rewards" might actually harm you
- Become conscious about the ways you "treat" yourself
- Learn to reward yourself in ways that truly benefit you
Type in Your Comments Below
Kristie Leong M.D.
12/31/2008
Your articles are excellent. Welcome to A.C. :-)
Susan Sosbe
07/26/2008
Often times, the sense of accomplishment one feels for achieving a goal should be reward enough. But we are a society of excess and we feel we deserve that something extra. You're right, the reward is often not a healthy choice. Excellent article.
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