Interracial Relationships and Social Taboo: I Dated Outside the Race

At 14, I committed my first social sin. I dated a white boy.

I didn't think anything of it; I liked him, he liked me, and that was all that mattered. But then I started to notice the expressions on the faces of people we passed on the streets - particularly those of Black women. One woman, in her late 30's or early 40's, was even so bold as to voice her disapproval. "I can't believe she's with a white boy. They start becoming traitors to the race younger and younger."

A traitor to the race? For falling for a white boy?

At 14, I didn't understand what the big deal was. It was 2002 and Jim Crow and segregation were topics of my history class. I never felt more uncomfortable walking through Downtown Boston than I did when I was with my boyfriend, which was a shame. I should have been happy to be with someone I cared for, but inside I was fearful of being lynched on the Common.

Interracial dating was not something that was new to me. My cousin’s boyfriend was also white, and they had a beautiful baby girl together. And this was in South Carolina, but no one seemed to have a problem with it, considering racial tensions are still high in some parts of the state. So why in Boston, in 2002, was it such an aberration for two people from different races to be together?

I don’t claim to know the answers to this question, because the fact of the matter is, I’m still trying to figure out why it is still an issue. Whatever happened to “love is blind”? Or better yet, when did it become exclusive to love inside the race? And when, if ever, will it be okay for us to step outside of society’s expectations and live for ourselves, and for love, without seeking the approval of others, or fearing their disapproval?