Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix Movie Cliff Notes Script

Witches, wizards, and other people who my father classifies as "insane," look alive. The trailer for the sixth movie of JK Rowling's Harry Potter series, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, has just been unveiled. This new trailer brought forth much reaction from Harry Potter fans; specifically; "I forgot about Harry Potter." To remind people about the Harry Potter movies, I now present the condensed script of the previous Harry Potter movie:

Harry Potter and the Order of The Phoenix

Audience observation: You know, if you highlight select words and letters of this title like Tom just did, you get Harry Potter OTP (One True Pairing).

Harry Potter/Yaoi/Anime/Slash/Homosexual Pairing Fangirls: OTP! SQUEEE! Harry x Ron! Harry x Voldemort! Harry x Hagrid! Harry x Snape! Harry x Dumbledore! Harry x His Broom!

Tom: Just for your annoying fandom ways, I'm telling you before the movie even begins that the one who dies is...

Movie Harry Potter Fans: DON'T YOU DARE SPOIL THIS MOVIE, TOM! We haven't had a chance to read the book and are eagerly watching this movie with virgin eyes.

Book Harry Potter Fans: GO AHEAD AND SPOIL THIS MOVIE, TOM! We already finished the book years ago and those movie HP fans had plenty of time to do the same. We're just interested in seeing how they execute this dramatic and traumatic scene in the movie.

Non-Harry Potter Fans: WHERE THE HELL ARE THOSE TRANSFORMERS?! Michael Bay can't direct a movie to save his life!!

Tom: NOW can I start the movie?

The movie commences

Playground in England

Harry Potter: Angst!

Dudley "Ali-G" Dursley: Boo-ya kah sha! You is gay, Harry Potter! "Oh, Cedric! Don't leave me!"

HP: Emo loner angst!

Dementors: Boo! (Attacks)

Dudley: Emo despair.

HP: Patronus!

Dementors: Eek! Run away! Run away!

Dursley Household

Owl Mail: "For using magic outside of Hogwarts, you're suspended, Harry!"

HP: The whole world is against me angst!

Tom: Wow! This is the shortest Harry Potter movie ever!

Later that night

HP: Home alone angst!

Order of the Phoenix members entering the house: Hi-ho! Hi-ho! It's off to grab Harry we go!

HP: Who the heck are you angst!