10 New Year's Resolution Suggestions for Michael Richards

Recently, Michael Richards, better known to the world as Cosmo Kramer of Seinfeld, lost it during a stand-up act at the Laugh Factory. After being heckled by two black men, he began spewing racial slurs including the "N" word. Richards has been accused of bigotry, but he claims his comments were made out of anger. There is no way for the world to know for sure what is in a man's heart and mind when he speaks. Therefore, in a circumstance like this people will believe what they want to believe.

I have always liked Richards/Kramer. I think he is a very funny, unique, talented guy who has brought a lot of joy and laughter to the world. So, I am not ready to stone him in the middle of Times Square for one mistake like most of the rest of the world. Kramer was a big goof and now Richards has made a big goof. Therefore, I would like to offer the following New Year's resolution suggestions to try to help Richards recover from his faux pas.

New Year's Resolution #1: I, Michael Richards, the Big Goof, will consider valium to be Visa from here on in and I will not leave home without it.

New Year's Resolution #2: I, Michael Richards, the Big Goof, will not do inane and meaningless things like suddenly begin dating a black woman just to try to save face.

New Year's Resolution #3: I, Michael Richards, the Big Goof, resolve to do meaningful acts to try to make amends to the African-American community.

New Year's Resolution #4: I, Michael Richards, the Big Goof, will visit and donate to inner-city youth programs.

New Year's Resolution #5: I, Michael Richards, the Big Goof, will take my next vacation in a struggling African nation and I will spend money like the extremist that I am.

New Year's Resolution #6: I, Michael Richards, the Big Goof, will get a new hairstyle, not because I said the 'N' word, but because I desperately need a new hairstyle.

New Year's Resolution #7: I, Michael Richards, the Big Goof, will get my new hairstyle in a barber shop in Harlem.