What Michael Richards Should Have Done

How the Man Who Played Kramer Could've Avoided the Current Fallout

Michael Richards was known as Kosmo Kramer for a decade before his recent racial tirade. He was an eccentric, crazy, kooky dude who America loved for his ability to completely wig out in the midst of a ridiculously contrived situation.

Recently, he completely wigged out yet again, yet he made a crucial mistake; he introduced race into his rant as he ripped into an African American heckler.

But that wasn't his biggest mistake. If Michael Richards would've just not apologized, his career might not be wrecked right now.

Follow me on this. We expect the face of Kramer to be shocking and irreverent, am I right? If Richards would've just came out and shouted more racist epithets, we'd be likely to just dismiss it as an act. His apology on the Letterman show was too sincere; Americans know see the comedian as a legitimate racist-and really, rightly so. But if Richards had the foresight to embrace the most insane logic he could possibly muster, he might convince the majority of Americans that his screams of the N word were just part of a really racy (pardon the pun) act.

If he absolutely had to apologize for this actions, Michael Richards should've kept it brief and insincere. After all, those types of apologies seem to go over extremely well in Hollywood (cough, Mel Gibson, cough cough). Maybe even reference his work as Kramer on Seinfeld; he could've just gone on the Letterman show, and Letterman would introduce him.

David Letterman: "Folks, we have tonight live via satellite feed Michael Richards, TV's Kosmo Kramer, who would like to apologize for his racially offensive comments after a particularly brutal heckling this last week. Mr. Richards, what do you have to say for yourself?"

Michael Richards with a bag of Rold Gold: "These pretzels are making me racist!"

Jerry Seinfeld (sarcastically): "Well, now, that's terrific."

I guarantee you that would've been the end of the whole debacle. Nobody would seriously consider Michael Richards to be a racist, he'd just be Kramer being Kramer. And you can't stop Kramer from being Kramer, can you?