Perfectionism: Enemy of the Good Life

"And none of us is perfectly qualified. We get it wrong nearly everytime we open our mouths. If you could find someone whose speech was perfectly true, you would have a perfect person, in perfect control of life." ~James 3:2

Yes, I'll admit this - I struggle with perfectionism. I have read that first-born children will naturally lean toward perfectionism. I am first-born. Perhaps you are first-born. Perhaps you see it in your own first-born child. Maybe you are married to a perfectionist or know someone who has these tendencies. Everything done must be to perfection. We perfectionists don't just do something - we DO SOMETHING. We DO it to excess. If we organize our books on the shelf, they don't just look nice - they are ordered in accordance with the Library of Congress. If we are to take on a task, the goal then becomes to perfect the task. But, isn't it apparent? When we set a perfect standard for ourselves the standard will NEVER be reached. We can never attain the goal of perfection. It will never happen. Yet, we foolishly continue to set the standard.

Perfectionism can be both a curse and a blessing. We can use it in our lives to assist us in accomplishing goals we have set for ourselves. Perfectionists are driven. That's the blessing part. The curse is the obsessive portion of perfectionism in which tasks are often the center of attention until complete. When a perfectionist works on a project, it may consume their life until it's flawless. This pursuit of precision sometimes includes verbally thrashing ourselves for not having done a little bit better. We say things to ourselves like, "That part looks pretty good, but I wish the other part would have turned out better." When complimented on certain tasks done well, we may reply with a comment about something we could have improved. There is also the shame associated with perfectionism that can often lead to feelings of hopelessness and despair. When one is constantly setting unattainable goals and failing to reach their expectations, depression will eventually ensue. This is the curse.