Five Flirting Tips for Painfully Shy Girls

Go from Wallflower to Quietly Confident Charmer

It's tough being a single woman, but it's especially tough for us bashful babes. For some of us, the very thought of overtly flirting with a handsome new acquaintance sets a whole series of panicky thoughts into motion. If you're worried that you'll never gather the courage to send the proper signals to that guy you've got your eyes on, worry no more--the good news is that shyness can actually be an advantage when it comes to the mating game, especially for women. Here are five simple steps that will help you put your hidden charms front and center.

The first step is to smile--right now! (I'll wait.) Every book, article and sidebar on flirting mentions the importance of a welcoming smile, and no wonder; it really is the first sign that it's safe to approach a new friend, colleague or potential mate. Shy women sometimes refrain from smiling for fear of looking silly, phony or desperate, but that somewhat terrified, beauty pageant runner-up grimace is easily avoidable. The trick to a natural, unforced smile is to think of something pleasant or beautiful, either in your immediate vicinity, or in your memory. Noticing a graceful floral arrangement at a party or a perfect wave on the beach relaxes your expression and takes your focus off yourself. (It's also a great icebreaker, if you're brave enough to say it out loud; "That's a fantastic mural!" is as good an opener as any, and it starts an encounter on a positive note.) Pondering something slightly sexy works wonders, too. Ever notice that the girl with the seductively subtle Mona Lisa smile often gets just as much attention from men as an outgoing, extroverted lady with a dazzling grin? Work with your bashfulness, rather than trying to force yourself into a style that doesn't fit.