Bitterness to Betterness

As I write this article, I'm agonizingly aware that I need to practice what I preach. By nature, I'm not a bitter person. By my environment and my childhood circumstances, I am a bitter person. I blame a certain set of persons and situations in my childhood for my now screwed up adulthood.

Thankfully, I still retain part of the original me and I still retain the ability on good days to see beyond my crap to some good in my life.

A few days ago, the woman whom I now call mom and I were sitting at the kitchen table with her mom, whom I call Grandma and who I do love. Her problem? She was born unhappy. She's old, her husband died a few years ago, she had a stroke, she cannot see or hear well and she literally sits on her ass every day and complains.

Granted, were I in her situation, pushing ninety, suffering from the after effects of a stroke and uprooted from my lifelong home into a mobile home, albeit a nice one, I'd be bitter as well.

However... she is so bitter now that she will not see outside her tiny box of bitterness. And she drives mom up the wall. Dad died a year ago and it's been hard on mom to be without him, plus take care of Grandma. On top of that, she's had to deal with me being out of work trying to raise two kids with no income, and babysit Grandma.

On that fateful day, I'd had enough as well. Grandma was well into her woe is me crap and had driven mom to tears, and mom doesn't cry at just anything. Mom was pissed and had enough.

Without realizing what it would do for me, I started reminding Grandma of what she could do, and quit focusing on what she can no longer do. Sure, as a result of the stroke, she can no longer drive her new car, she cannot walk very far - there are many things she cannot do due to a number of factors.

But there are so many things she can do yet she will not. When I started an oral list, it was like banging my head against a wall. I had a headache by the time I was done and nothing worthwhile had been accomplished. Or had it?

I told Grandma she could see, therefore she could enjoy the yard of beautiful flowers mom has.

She can hear, and we are willing to hold conversations with her and so are the birds.