Total page views: 414,777
Published Content: 330
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On AC since: 09.02.06
Bio:
A young writer with a passion for creativity in any form, a love for all peoples, and great interest in expanding her horizons and having her voice heard.
Education/Experience:
BA English w/ Writing Emphasis-- Messiah College, Creative Writing Graduate Student
Motto:
God is for me; who dares stand against me?
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Megan Fox has claimed director Michael Bay focuses more on action than acting in his films. Bay's comeback: pulling out the big guns.
Even death, it seems, cannot save a popular public figure from the throes of a culture war. Evidence of this is seen in the memorializing of Michael Jackson, and comments offered by both Reverend Al Sharpton and political commentator Bill O'Reilly.
Sarah Palin has challenged President Barack Obama to a new race ... and it has nothing to do with politics.
Many of the most treasured memories with my father involve moments where nothing needed to be said to say how much we love each other. A Father's Day reflection on the joy of shared silence.
Night at the Museum 2: Battle of the Smithsonian comes packed with plenty of laughs, maybe even a good amount of heart, but not much of a plot.
A poem: "the field of lost children".
With the finale of Lost's season five, viewers have finally gotten some answers to some long-lived questions that lingered from season four and beyond. Here's a look at ten big questions that finally received answers in the fifth season of Lost!
The Lost season five finale was, apparently, all about answering questions and replacing them with even more mind bobbling ones. But the big question of the night is, of course, who is Jacob?
College graduation not only means the end of some of the things you hated about higher education; it also means the end of the things you loved. Here are ten ideas of how to make sure your college years are remembered as some of the best of your life!
A look at five movie theaters in the Harrisburg City area, and what makes each a unique movie-going experience.
Columbia Pictures and Sony Pictures Animation will release an animated film based on Judi Barrett's Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs in September 2009. Here's a look at how Barrett's book will translate to the silver screen.
Ray LaMontagne is an artist whose music ranges in sound from soulful to folksy to rock, and practically everything in between. Here are my picks for his top ten songs.
A poem about unfinished poems. You might think it sad, but remember; no poem is ever finished!
A cut-up poem for National Poetry month. The title comes from some of the words of the original poem!
A Shakespearean (or, English) Sonnet dedicated to Tony Almeda's recent treachery on Fox's 24.
An ode to Apple, and the glor'ous iPod!
A poem, written in iambic pentameter, about a trip into the world of dreams, both day and night.
A rhyming poem about something in my kitchen. Also, a love poem for my parents, who are also, quite often, in my kitchen.
Residents of Harrisburg and surrounding areas rallied at the Harrisburg Capitol building today in support an Invisible Children event called "The Rescue." The event sought to create awareness for the violence occurring in Uganda.
A haiku about my betta fish, Manny!
Today's challenge was to write a short poem about your favorite movie. Let's be honest; did anyone expect anything else from me than The Godfather?
A poem in celebration of Earth Day/Earth Week
A haiku about my favorite part of nature: the falling, wildly tinted leaves of Autumn.
Here's a look at some of the best of Sawyer's nicknames. These are, in no particular order, my top ten!
A list poem about why I don't want to (no, why I won't) grow up!!
A 3 stanza quatrain poem about the glories of a t-shirt for a child. A quatrain is a four-line stanza.
This addition poem (a poem written with one letter in the first line, two in the second, et cetera) follows my twenty-third birthday, and examines thoughts of growing older.
A poem about the beauty of (seemingly mundane) bedsheets ...
A combining of the reverse cinquain and Sicilian quintain forms. A play on form, and words because poetry (and peace, and pieces) are never all work; know "play!"
A poem about the places we go in our dreams . . .
National Poetry Month, celebrated annually in April, is a time to show appreciation for the craft of poetry. Check out these poetry forms for letters N through Z, grab a pen and paper, and start writing!
This poetry prompt couldn't have come at a better time. A poem in honor and memory of the great Harry Kalas, king of high hopes, voice of the Phillies.
As part of Associated Content's National Poetry Month daily challenge, here is a sestina about searching for, dreaming of, and finally finding, home.
Harry Kalas, the voice of the Philadelphia Phillies, died Monday, April 13, 2009. The Philadelphia broadcaster passed out in a press box at Nationals Park. He was transported to GW Hospital, where he was pronounced dead. Kalas was 73 years old.
Some people would be embarrassed to say it, but not me: I think 'N Sync's album *NSYNC is the best album of the 1990's.
When the typical movie-goer imagines a family film, The Godfather probably doesn't jump to the top of the list. But really The Godfather is, primarily, a film about family.
I'm not a huge fan of rhyming poetry (that is, I don't often write it), but this was the poem on my heart, so I'll trust it was God speaking, more than myself!
A poem about some of the beautiful images and sounds of springtime.
On Friday, April 11, Pope Benedict XVI presided over the Way of the Cross procession at the Colosseum. This verse reflects upon the event, and the Pope's remarks regarding the recent 6.3 magnitude earthquake that struck Italy on Monday.
A haiku about my favorite musical artist of the moment, singer/songwriter Ray LaMontagne.
A calligram detailing some of the special language of the 1980's!
A poem in honor of "Get Smart" and the show's leading agent, Agent 86, Maxwell Smart!
A brief look at new poetry forms to try during National Poetry Month. This first installment covers poetry forms A-M.
Two things I'm not too fond of; limericks and a bad economy. Let's see how they work together to form a "humorous" limerick about the bad economy ...
In an economy like this, it turns out a Hallmark store could be the next best thing to group therapy.
In fulfillment of the first challenge of the AC National Poetry Month Challenge of the Day, a poem of rhyming couplets about my favorite food! Enjoy!
Poem in Your Pocket day is an annual part of National Poetry Month. This year, celebrate with one, or all, of these fun suggestions for carrying a poem in your pocket!
A poem for Easter, also known as Resurrection Day, in celebration of the Rose of Sharon.
The sad tale of a lad who,for all his luck, can't find the one gift he promised his lady, followed by a special "Irish Blessing" for all of you in the AC Community!
President Obama's job approval ratings dropped below 60% for the first time, but rose again to 67% shortly after his address to Congress.
Ben Stiller took a shot at the bizarre appearance by Joaquin Phoenix on the Late Show with David Letterman during the 81st Annual Oscar Awards.
Heath Ledger, who died tragically in January of 2008, has received the 2009 Best-Supporting Actor Oscar for his portrayal of the Joker.
President Obama approved top military leaders' request for an increased presence of American troops in Afghanistan today, in an attempt to "stabilize a deteriorating situation" there.
There are familiar names and faces celebrated every Black History Month. Here's a look at five less-familiar African-American firsts.
At the annual National Prayer Breakfast, President Obama called for unity among religious and secular organizations under the Golden Rule.
Superman alone champions all people; no single region can claim him as its own. A single fact of the Superman myth makes this unifying representation possible: Superman is foreign.
An examination of Superman as a Christ-figure (in terms of Judeo-Christianity), the origins of this image, and where the image fails.
The following Upper Allen Township police blotter is a compilation of recent police activity in Upper Allen Township, Pennsylvania, for January 20-25, 2009.
President Obama has given new meaning to the phrase "party politics" by hosting a "bipartisan" Super Bowl XLIII watch party at the White House on Sunday, February 1, 2009.
To my people of the African diaspora: To we, the people-- who we are.
Oh, mothers; oh, fathers; oh, sisters and brothers; where have you gone? To those who have gone before, from one who has come after. A poem for Black History Month
A love poem drawing on the imagery of sweetness, sweet fruits; the savory nature of love.
President Barack Obama had some cool words for Washington, D.C. school closings today, in light of the icy weather. "My children's school was cancelled today," he commented to reporters. "Because of what? Some ice?"
While much focus has been placed on Republican critiques of President Barack Obama's economic stimulus plan, Democrats have begun voicing their concerns as well.
This poem (slash-song) is a modern take on the "Mama's Gonna Buy You a Mockingbird" nursery rhyme, with a more grown-up approach!
A subliminal message is a message that's hidden or concealed in a blanket statement. When writing a subliminal love poem, the poem contains a message of love that may not be apparent directly on the surface.
The 81st Annual Academy Awards airs February 22, 2009 at 8PM (EST). A look at predictions for the Oscars in the top five categories.
A list of the top ten romantic films for you and your special someone this Valentine's Day.
A list of ten great romance songs for Valentine's Day that can be used to help you create a memorably romantic holiday for the one you love!
Truth #1: College is meant to be fun! Truth #2: Too much fun can totally ruin your finances!
2009 is going to be a good year for Hollywood, particularly in regards to highly anticipated Blockbusters! Here's a look at some of the major trends we can expect to see in 2009.
What would television be without spin-offs? Here's a look at five great television spin-offs.
We all know the show is called Lost, but that doesn't mean we should all be completely lost while watching it! Here are some suggestions for the show's writers and producers.
ABC and the creative minds behind Lost take the literary facet of the show a step further through the Lost Book Club, an official branch of the Lost universe that allows fans to read books seen, mentioned, or alluded to on the popular television series.
As the new year approaches, folks are searching high and low for the latest predicted trends for 2009. Here's a quick look at what I think will be among the top five technology trends for 2009.
Though there is probably no scientific diagnosis for filmaholicism, it's pretty easy to tell if you're honing in on becoming a filmaholic. The life of a filmaholic is characterized by three key factors. We'll call them the three Musts of filmaholicism.
A look at some of the best of the worst shows of 2008.
A look at the "Unforgettable" people of 2008, and what makes them stand out among the year's history-makers!
Some of the best shows on television have been spin-offs. But let's face it: some shows don't need to have spin-offs. Here's a look at ten of them.
The government has said that President-elect Obama is not implicated in Governor Blagojevich's crimes. However, most have also acknowledged that the crimes will prove nothing short of a headache for the president-elect.
Governor Rod Blagojevich was arrested Tuesday for what Attorney General Patrick Fitzgerald called "a political corruption crime spree." A look at the charges, the crimes, and what it all might mean for the President-elect.
The Supreme Court will deliberate the Donofrio v. Wells lawsuit, which questions President-Elect Barack Obama's eligibility as the President of the United States.
A naughty child's Christmas wish, a verse for two little lambs, and a reminder of the meaning of Christmas (in part inspired by Linus van Pelt, but more so by the Lamb of God born in the manger Linus spoke of).
Doing sick days the wrong way may lead to a heavier burden when it comes to your classes. Doing sick days the right way may help you ease the burden of those classes! Here are the Dos and Don'ts of college sick days.
A sorrowful turkey, an over-eating mistake, and an un-thankful verse.
A look at the four primary areas of your life you will want to examine before choosing your major.
For all the time spent considering what college students hate, too little time is spent considering what might irk your professor. Here are ten things college students do that annoy their professors.
Here's a look at ten books you'll probably have to read, in whole or in part, during your four year stay at college.
All across America, people are taking up the call to "go green"; preserve the environment and save our planet. The call has been heard everywhere from the street corner to the office building. Now, college students, it's your turn!
During the campaign, President-Elect Obama made many promises concerning education. Now, it's time to see those promises enacted, especially for those young Americans with dreams of higher education.
For those of us not good with planners, but who also must keep track of several different written assignments for college classes, a creatively designed spreadsheet and sticky notes are indispensable friends!
If you, like me, struggle with keeping up to date with a planner, try using a different tactic. Try these tips if you know that an assignment written in a notebook or planner will never be seen again!
When you apply to a college or university, you are judged less by yourself than by how you "look" on paper. Here are some tips on how to make yourself look the best on paper, so you'll feel like your best by the time you're accepted.
The Philadelphia Phillies defeated the Tampa Bay Rays with a score of 4-3 to win the World Series. This marks the Phillies' first World Series victory in twenty-eight years.
Lately, I've been seeing the glory, grace, and love of God in the smallest things, including my work at the back computer of the card shop in which I work, while printing customers' invitations . . .
If you plan on attempting National Novel Writing Month, consider creating a play list for your novel. Here are a few tricks for creating the perfect NaNoWriMo play list.
In a hold-your-breath fifth game of the seven-game NCLS, the Phillies defeated the Los Angeles Dodgers 5-1. The team known as the losingest team in baseball now heads to the World Series for the first time since 1993.
A special word for Senator Barack Obama, in the form of a political limerick
With an anticipated record amount of young voters coming out to the polls this November, both major political parties fight for the young American vote.
Two Halloween poems for children, involving one child's Halloween costume choice and a group of kids' bad trick-or-treating experience (with a very scary man).
Costume ideas to dress as House's Dr. James Wilson.
How to create easy costumes of Dale Denton or Saul Silver from Pineapple Express.
Instead of dressing up as another Jack, Sawyer, or Kate, try dressing up as an extra from the cast of ABC's Lost!
There are a lot of hard topics for parents to talk to their kids about. Among the familiar listings, with topics like sex and drugs, is a topic that could potentially be even more sensitive: Faith.
Dave Brubeck's "Pieta" inspired this poem, a fictitious examination of the models who posed for Michelangelo's Pietà.
A poem based on Dave Brubeck's "Darien Mode".
In a series of poems inspired by the music of Dave Brubeck, this poem was inspired by Brubeck's song of the same title, "Chorale".
The Office returned to NBC for its fifth season on Thursday, September 25. With its return, one thing became very clear: Office fans are in for one wild ride this season.
Another in the series of Brubeck Poems, this one inspired by Dave Brubeck's "Leo's Place"
A poem written to Dave Brubeck's "Divertimento"
A poem inspired by Dave Brubeck's "Strolling".
The only thing worse than realizing you're in a bad spot one your class is realizing that soon, and very soon, you're going to have to show that grade to your parents. The question is: What's the best way to do it?
"Let's put a smile on that face!" This article will help you put more than a smile on your face; it'll set you up with a host of ideas for a genuine Joker costume, with tips from a real Joker-pro!
After the special two-hour season premiere of Heroes, one message seems loud and clear: The Petrelli family is seriously messed up, and their problems mean problems for all of us!
a poem written in a time when i was dying for a dream, but the well ran dry (or seemed to . . .)
A young woman with a fascinating relationship to bees.
A lonely man finds himself with a starry-eyed view of two worlds on a sweltering night in an unnamed country.
A blend of poetry and prose, and a particularly strange case of deja vu.
A poem based on Brubeck's "Prelude"
A poem set to Dave Brubeck's "Shouts"
This poem was inspired by Dave Brubeck's "Unsquare Dance".
Second in a series of Dave Brubeck-inspired songs.
The first of a series of poems inspired by the music of Dave Brubeck. Titles are track titles.
A poem for idle hours and peaceful days
These haiku support Senators Obama and Biden, with Obama's ties to Lincoln, Kennedy, and King, a call to all people to exercise their voting rights, and ending with a light-hearted turn!
A look at the already developing conspiracy surrounding Fox's Fringe, particularly as it relates to the big mystery behind Massive Dynamics.
Fox's "Fringe" premiered Tuesday, Sept. 9th. Here's a look at the latest mystery from J.J. Abrams, and why it may feel familiar.
Even the most rigorous majors leave a little room for electives classes that are meant just for you to experiment and broaden your horizons. Here are a few to add to the list of possibilities!
Instead of showing up like a deer in the headlights your first day of college, show up already with an idea of what you're doing and how to do it! Here are ten things you should know before your first day of class, or at least before the end of the first week.
College friends can be friends you'll always remember, especially if you do what it takes to find a good group of friends early to help you through some of the the toughest years of your life!
At around three in the morning, Obama supporters received text messages announcing Delaware Senator Joe Biden as the Democratic presidential hopeful's VP choice. Unfortunately, other major news outlets and political blogs beat him to the punch by more than two hours.
Here's a look at some of the things you should NOT take with you to your first year at college.
iTunes U is an excellent resource to brush up on old information, or learn something new, to get ready for the new school year. Check out this guide to a great back-to-school academic source.
Sometimes our favorite superheroes seem downright silly (sort of). Yet something keeps us believing (sort of).
Fans are eager to know which Batman-universe villain will make it into the next movie. Here's a look at five villains who should be passed over.
Claims that the race card has been played by political campaigns raise questions of how big an issue race has been, or will be, in this year's presidential election.
The "W" movie trailer shocked many viewers today, but perhaps not in the way any of them wanted to be shocked . . .
These are five airplane conversation topics that just might make you the jerk of the flight . . .
One child's belief in the Tooth Fairy serves as a small reminder of the importance of allowing children to believe in the impossible as long as they are able.
A great option is to help your homesick campers write letters home. Rather than a quick-fix solution, like that provided through a phone call, students will have to wait for a response, giving them time to unleash their feelings without being immediately coddled.
When we think of America, most think red-white-and-blue, baseball games, and Christopher Columbus. But in actuality, America's history is far more complicated, and much more extensive than the USA!
There is a hard fact many first-year college students will learn upon entering their first year in higher education: When their high school teachers told them their writing was excellent or above average, they were lying.
Kids often say and do the darnedest things. They can't help it; kids are probably the most creative beings on the face of the planet! Sometimes, however, their creativity gets them into trouble.
Today, as I sat pondering God's creation of earth and humanity, I pulled the brown Play-Doh from the case and tried to form the shape of a man.
According to the latest PA presidential polls, Senators Obama and McCain have a tight race to win this swing state. Here's a look at the poll results and what it means for each candidate and Pennsylvania voters.
Fox News' E.D. Hill, who hosts the channel's American Pulse, apologized earlier today for a comment she made regarding Barack and Michelle Obama's widely-watched fist-bump.
The latest controversy stirring in the camp of the Democratic Presidential candidate revolves around a piece of paper. Barack Obama has thus far abstained from releasing his birth certificate, causing what seems to be a major ruckus among many voters.
One of my favorite aspects of working at one of my local Hallmark Gold Crown stores was high school graduation time. Parents - especially mothers - bombarded the store to print up their graduating son or daughter's high school graduation party invitations.
Thousands may be dead as a result of an earthquake in China. A 7.8 magnitude earthquake went through western China this morning. At least 8,533 people have been reported dead as a result.
From memory boxes to conversion projects, these graduation cap and tassel display ideas are unique, creative, and fun!
Many Christian schools will likely seek out great Christian graduation songs with which to send off graduates. Among the popular Christian graduation songs, here are ten that you and/or your school may want to consider!
One is a drunk. Another is a playboy. In any other case we'd probably call them troubled citizens. In Hollywood these days, we like to call them superheroes.
Associated Content helped to secure my media credentials for the Compassion Forum (Messiah College- Grantham, Pennsylvania). I walked into the Media Filing Room with a badge reading "Media" around my neck and a huge grin plastered on my face.
A set of three poems for Memorial Day. Never forget ...
If your mom is into bird watching, finding the perfect Mother's Day gift could be as easy as a chickadee's song! Use this guide to come up with some ideas for the perfect Mother's Day gift!
Decorating for Mother's Day on a budget? Here are some great Mother's Day decorations that will cost you less than $10!
When picking out Mother's Day gifts for a mom in her 50s, the aim isn't to find something that reflects her age; it's to find something that reflects your love for her and her importance to your life.
Here are Father's Day Poems: second in a series.
The first in a series of Father's Day poems.
American singer and songwriter Bruce Springsteen released a statement on Wednesday, April 16, 2008 in which he endorsed Senator Barack Obama. "I have now seen and heard enough to know where I stand," Springsteen said Wednesday on his website.
Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton are slated to face off in a Philadelphia debate tonight. Each candidate brings their own particular issues to the table. A look at what each candidate should address and/or avoid.
Many speculate that Senator Obama's remarks will result in a loss of votes. I can't speak for the rest of America, but I can say that despite agreeing the words were ill-chosen, they will not affect my vote in the April 22nd Primary.
A Mother's Day poem dedicated to my own Grandmom, in whom I see the face and grace of God in so many ways ...
A joking Mother's Day poem about the "revelation" that my Godmother "isn't a fairy."
To children: You mother loves you-- she says it in different ways, but it's always there. To mothers: We'll understand it eventually ...
The first of a series of Mother's Day poems I recently wrote. This one is dedicated to my mother, whose dreams I see passing between past, present, and future; they never die, mom.
On Sunday, April 13, 2008, Messiah College hosted the Compassion Forum, a discussion focused on faith and moral issues. Democratic Presidential candidates Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama discussed personal views on issues ranging from abortion to climate control.
On April 13, I attended the Compassion Forum at Messiah College, complete with run-ins with big name media, the Secret Service, and, of course, the presidential candidates.
Want to head out to Citizens Bank Park for a good old Phillies game? You'll need tickets first. Here's a look at five ways to get yourself some Phillies tickets (plus a humorous take on scalpers).
Charlton Heston, an Oscar-winning and nominated actor known for his roles in epic historical films, died on Saturday, April 5, 2008. Here is a look at ten articles from AC Content Producers honoring his life and legacy.
According the the latest news reports, Hip-hop and R&B/Pop music's latest power couple, Jay-Z and Beyonce, were married on Friday, April 4, 2008 in New York. A look at the reports of their marriage, with some background on the couple's relationship.
Oscar-winner Charlton Heston died Saturday, April 5, 2008. According to the latest news from the L.A. Times, the world-renowned actor died at his home in Beverly Hills. He was 84 years old.
They say music "speaks the vernacular of the soul". If anyone's got the language down, it's Michael Giacchino and his score for ABC's LOST.
For the first time ever, four No. 1 seed teams have entered the NCAA Tournament Final Four. A look at the who and how behind this historic event, and what comes next in the NCAA basketball tournament.
Pennsylvania Senator Bob Casey (D) announced his endorsement of Democratic Presidential candidate Barack Obama today. The announcement set the start of Obama's Pennsylvania campaign leading to Pennsylvania's April 22 primary.
After the announcement of the recent milestone in the war in Iraq, presidential hopeful Hillary Clinton issued a statement regarding the milestone and the war. This article examines her statement, it's potential effect on her campaign, and her stance on the Iraq war.
After the announcement of the recent milestone in the history of the Iraq war, Barack Obama issued a response to the 4,000 American deaths in Iraq. Here is a look at his response, it's implications on his campaign, and a look at his policy regarding the war in Iraq.
The final installment of the Responses to War series goes back to the topic of poetry and verse's place in times of war and/or sorrow. Poetry will always have its place, always be timely, in times of peace, and times of war.
Part IV of the Responses to War series: This poem deals with the death of a man (who is intentionally not necessarily affiliated with nation/military/etc.) during war
Part II of the Responses to War series: This poem deals with the image of the darkness that seems to cover a world so raged with war and violence, through the vantage point of a mourning sun.
A continuation of the Responses to War series; this poem reflects on the lingering images preserved in poetry, united with the lingering images of deserted battlefields.
A series of poems written as a response to war, particularly the Iraq War. While none of the poems in this series support or denounce the war, each addresses the impact of words/verse in times of war. The first, "Eucharist", has obviously religious undertones.
The number of U.S. casualties in the war in Iraq reached 4,000 on Sunday. This milestone bears serious implications for public views of the war and this year's presidential campaigns and election.
A continuance of the first half of your NCAA Basketball Tournament terminology cheat sheet!
With the NCAA Basketball Tournament in full swing, some are probably wondering what some of the terms tossed around more than the basketball mean. For those of you who are a little confused, here's a quick guide to some need-to-know basketball terms that will help you out!
With the tipoff of this year's March Madness NCAA tournament, college basketball fans are scouring the web for places to watch their favorite match-ups. Fans need look no further than CBS's partnership with the NCAA with March Madness On-Demand!
I knew them through letters and emails. I remember them for life.
According to many NCAA fans, and employers nationwide, Americans have one more issue to add to the list of potential causes of the nation's state of recession: the Boss Button.
Movies plus laughter always equals a winning combination!
In an interview with Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg, Sarah Lacy completely lost any semblance of control. Here's a look at what happened, and how to avoid a similar incident in the midst of an interview.
Cotinine, a metabolite of nicotine, was among the numerous pharmaceutical drugs found in 28 U.S. watersheds and drinking water supplies. Read more to learn about the AP's study and what it means.
This song began as a reflection on one of my favorite childhood games, then moved to the significance of the words we used to sing on the swing set: "Hello . . . goodbye . . ." in light of a relationship.
One of my original rainbow poems, which some may remember from the article on how to create rainbow poems of your own!
Inspired by Life, and Ecclesiastes.
A look at ten great songs by Norah Jones.
Spring Training games haven't even begun, but already Philadelphia Phillies fans are preparing for the Phillies' Opening Day game on March 31st. Here's a look at all you need to know to get your tickets to Phillies' games for the 2008 Season.
a poem for alice walker, women of color, and myself.
A short list of random yet fun activities you can do to keep your creative juices running, relax after a hard week of class, or just have some silly fun with friends or yourself.
This is a serial story that involves a little reader/listener participation. Each "chapter" ends with a "cliffhanger," at which point the reader/listener offers suggestions of what happens next. This first chapter is called "Adeleda's Satchel."
Spider-Man at the end of his rope ... er, web. To quote Tobey McGuire from the film: "The story of my life is not for the faint of heart."
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