Johan Faffenbach

The "clip-culture" of video sharing changes almost daily. What I set out to find was a little entertainment, a few movies, just to break the silence, but now I've joined the forward-leaning hunchbacks...

Two snowplow drivers tell a story about their attempt to escape a small town. "I had a checkbook and no problems. I wrote a bad check...We knew that we had to leave that night or we never would get t...

The old adage says that tragedy ends in death and comedy ends in marriage. However, the formulaic happy ending of comedy has become a dull staple of film and literature. A look at the endings of fou...

The organization called "Oregonians for Nebraska" has met for the past six years at The Refectory. Prior to that, they met at Claudia's on Hawthorne, but the group became too large for the venue.

Each night at 7:30, underneath the Hawthorne Bridge, a round of applause goes up for a group of amateur chefs as they make their way to the exit. The 90 residents of the Clark Center, all recovering h...

The use of diminutive names and nicknames in the dialogue of "In Our Time" by Ernest Hemingway creates a subtle but powerful effect. Like the bending of guitar strings, the diminutive name refracts a...

Recently, we have seen portraits of greed in the fallen ENRON Corporation, particularly Ken Lay, and Jeff Skilling. The portrayals of greed in 16th century literature provided an outlet for the have-...

You finally got her number. You can't wait to take her out and show her a good time. She is into you like a gambling addict is into Tony Soprano. What could possibly go wrong? How about indigestion? ...

If love could be described mathematically, surely Newton and Einstein would have done it already. Luckily we have money to use as a barometer. An analysis of income, love, and your many inadequacies ...

You are expected to be a humble peasant to her, kissing her ring and lavishing her with high praises. She expects you to act like a mix between James Bond and Sir Lancelot. I'm referring to your mothe...

The natural urge to make love is upon you like fairydust, so you inch forward to indicate your intentions. Unfortunately she feels your prodding and thinks of it as nothing more than the carnal thrust...

Playaz have a need to define the warning signs of those intent on hoodwinking them. As they study this guide, it pays to keep in mind one thing. A Playa don't mind if a man is dressed up as a woman
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That shoestring bikini is for a reason, and you are not it. Even if you spoke Portuguese, even if you were rich, even if you could guarantee her fifteen hours of ecstasy, the odds are against you. Why...

In the average weekend you come across more dangerous activities than anything NBC can dream up for Fear Factor. For most people, watching Fear Factor is a rush but you find yourself bored halfway thr...

When Jay-Z came up with the line, "I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one," he didn't factor in the additional 99 problems that come with having a limited income.

You smoked your mind the last two nights. Now you've got no sleep, no money, no honey, and all of the sudden now it's not so funny. And worst of all, it has upset your chemical balances and made you a...

Paramedics call the first hour after an injury the �Golden Hour' for the patient. In the world of Single-n-Lonely, this same principle can be applied to hanging out in the street when the club clos...

If you don't want to be a daddy, but think you might be, remember one thing: Maury Povich is not your friend. There is really only one thing to do, and that is man up to the task of fatherhood by tak...

At times, you've even convinced yourself that it really doesn't happen all that often, but the truth is that you are never more than twenty-four hours away from your next special �alone time.'

So you think you want to be single again. The first thing to remember: do not follow your instinct and go directly to a honey's hive. Don't forget that "Married and Bored" can also mean "stable."

You will always find pleasure in having no pleasure. So does your wife. Even when you have the opportunity to agree on something, you will pick an opposing viewpoint. She wants ice cream, you want cak...

One morning, after the fact, you wake up and realize you're married. You feel like it all happened so fast, like you weren't even really there for the decision making. Right then her obese cat pukes u...

If your wife loves to gossip, that's a good thing. Let me explain. Gossippers take joy in hearing about other people after their own personal lives have become deceased. If she's not interested in a...

Your moments of weakness tend to be your wife's greatest ally, and surely when you agreed to joint checking and savings accounts, you must have been making up for something you did wrong. Here are so...

However it happened, you have been outsourced; replaced by an animal that is full of love, that never stops loving, that is so much more than you, and comes built-in with all the characteristics of Gh...

Pet expenses are increasing. Raising a pet costs 20% of what a child costs, so why not assist pet owners with a comparable tax-deduction, or "pet-dependent" credit?

A poem about contacting an old friend after your world has changed.

Reflections on success and failure, gains and losses.

In heaven, I want my little-league statistics.

A poem celebrating all women of the world.

A poem about a recently dumped soldier finding solace in a seedy place.

A poem about a soldier's reaction to getting dumped while on deplyoment.

The life and times of a sunflower.

A poem about the sun, science, and spring.

Not worried about taking that last breath.To be caught living unafraid is best.

The life of a honey bee put into verse.

A soldier looks at a dusty photo and remembers his family.

A soldier imagines paradise at home

A night poem about a soldier laying in the sand and dreaming, stargazing, and clutching his cold M-16.

A sonnet about a soldier getting sent to war, away from his girlfriend.

A night poem about drinking wine on the roof with someone special.

Filthy dripping, and still, at attention, staring straight ahead...

A short love sonnet

A short love poem about the one the person who saved you from drowning.

A nice evening, a new friend, sharing whiskey, and one cheer too many.

A neurotic old man named Henry worries that no matter what he buys, Miss Pococurante will be upset with him. A short comedy.