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Published Content: 3,445
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On AC since: 06.03.05
Bio:
Timothy Sexton was named AC's very first Content Producer of the Year. If you get the message on his home page here that he has published no content, understand it's a glitch: he's published 3500 pieces of content on AC alone.
Education/Experience:
BA, English
Motto:
No one but a blockhead ever wrote, except for money.
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A look at the difference between HDTV and analog TV and a call to reject them until we get something worth making that investment viable.
I understand manners have gone out of style, but has common sense? It doesn't even take a genius to figure out most of these tips, yet so few are practiced by museum visitors.
One man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter. Unless you're British, there is no way view Michael Collins as anything other than a heroic fighter for freedom.
Ingmar Bergman's films of the 1950s suggest a film noir that goes beyond the moral ambiguity of American film noir.
Francis Coppola's The Outsiders may at first glance seem to be a jarring departure from his Godfather films, but a closer examination proves that it is consistent with many of the themes forwarded in those two blockbusters.
Does Pulp Fiction qualify as film noir or not? Not!
An analysis of why Daniel Day-Lewis should be considered the greatest screen actor of all time to come to Hollywood via the British theater.
It is important for celebrities to understand there is a media hierarchy attached to their deaths. Elvis and Michael Jackson could have told that to Groucho Marx and Farrah.
A little story about how I came to love Ghoulagogo, the strangest, yet most compelling little cable access show I've ever seen.
The National Aquarium in Washington, D.C. is a disgrace. Strike it off your list of things to do in Washington, D.C.
Things to do in the town with more nicknames than any one town needs.
A look at the Dolphins in Depth special experience at Epcot.
What ever happened to the traditional detective show on TV? The crime scene investigation show killed it, that's what happened to the traditional detective show on TV.
We missed the Museum of American History last year, but made it this year. I almost wish we hadn't. What an enormous letdown.
An overview of the type of tourist attractions families can visit in Washington, D.C.
Some of the greatest music in pop history was forged by the rebelliousness engendered by class warfare; then there's rap and country music in which class distinction created the desire for assimilation into the capitalist ideology.
Drugs took the life of an amazingly funny stand-up comic even before I got the chance to know him. This is my tribute to a would-be legend taken from us way too early.
Weddings are one of the oldest and longest-lasting rituals known to man. The joining of a man and a woman in matrimony is a rite of passage shared by civilizations across the planet.
Thinking of investing in the Wii Active? The customer reviews so far have all been so glowing that methinks a viral marketing campaign is in the works. For a more realistic review, read this.
It is possible to smell autumn in the air, so why not taste summer? There is something about this soft drink that actually makes it taste like summer.
A look at some of the stuff you can expect to find at mainly the Smithsonian Institution of Air and Space and flying thingies.
A pictorial remembrance of my recent visit to Washington, DC.
This is a video featuring several of the animals that you can expect to get up close and personal with at the Global Wildlife Center in Louisiana.
Step-by-step, slowly you turn. And next thing you know you've got yourself a simple wooden stool for use at the bar or anywhere else.
Despite the cries of the delusional, the announcement of John Madden's retirement is surely cause for celebration. Now the next step: Convincing Fox to hire Frank Caliendo to do commentary in his guise as John Madden.
Confused as to how long you should roast a turkey, a ham, or a beef tenderloin? Get your answers here and make perfect meat every time.
I did not receive notification of most of these articles having been published so I assume most subscribes did not. I simply want to bring attention to the fact that I was published this week. Not a lot, but here are some you may have missed.
UP does what I thought was impossible: It replaces Finding Nemo as Pixar's greatest achievement.
Some artistic works seem to purposely try to be as mysterious to understand as possible. Does this kind of art have any meaning in the today's world?
Yes we can? Oh no, you didn't! Obama's acceptance of preventive detention means suspects can be jailed without evidence based on what they might do in the future. Is Obama really just Cheney in disguise?
Rave Motion Picture theaters is not actively encouraging illegal movie downloads, but their business practices sure aren't helping the helping any argument against this practice.
Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian won't go down in history for any cinematic achievement, but it has made history by being the first to use humans for product placement. The humans: The Jonas brothers.
This is the opening theme for my musical about the Bush administration, titled "Cheer Torture"
If it ever actually gets built, the Little Mermaid may become the greatest ride at Disney since Mr. Toad's Wild Ride.
Some information on the development of motor skills and the possibility of a genetic predisposition for clumsiness.
Isn't it time to relegate the Catholic Church to the same peripheral status we give to Flat-Earthers and right-wing militias and neo-Nazi skinheads.
What you need to know, I mean really need to know, about warranties for digital media players.
The introduction to the person who is going to give the real speech needs to fulfill four distinct components.
A little lesson in time efficiency.
Disinheritance is a very real legal maneuver that can get quite tricky.
Forget The Big Bang Theory. The second funniest show on TV right now is Glenn Beck's nightly stand-up comedy routine. Simpsons remains number one, of course.
To paraphrase a comedian whose very voice is like a dentist's drill in my head: You might be in credit card debt trouble if you can recognize yourself in any of these warning signs.
The rainbow is a mysterious and miraculous little natural wonder.
In this era of standardized test mediocrity, the ability to think creatively is becoming a lost art.
A simple explanation of origination fees and points.
Here's how to remove a one-piece faucet in the bathroom.
The new Pepsi Throwback marketing gimmick allows fans of Mountain Dew to taste Mountain Dew as it was meant to be tasted. Once you drink sugary Dew you'll never go back to the Satanic corn syrup.
Aside from just cutting back on the drinking, there are other ways to stop having bloodshot eyes.
You may not know how to play snooker, but if you decide to pick it up, here's some things you'll need to know.
An overview of basic machine tools that can be used in the home.
Thinking about adopting a collie? Here's a few things to consider to make sure you are the right type of person for this breed.
They don't make anti-drug movies like they did in the 1960s that were shown in elementary schools. The anti-drug movie I saw an impressionable did not glamorize drugs at all. Is that so hard today?
Described as the perfect knight, due to his innocence and purity, Galahad has biological ties to King David and character ties to Jesus.
Wicked in novel form and Wicked in musical theatre form are almost two completely different stories. Which you prefer may depend upon your capacity to enjoy complexity.
What is in fondant? How long has it been around? Why does some fondant taste better than other fondant?
The Religious Right called Hurricane Katrina punishment from God. And yet tornadoes hit the conservative stronghold every single year. Who is God really punishing?
An overview of the tools you might want to consider when considering whether you want to consider becoming an electrician.
Things are about to become hysterically funny as Keanu Reeves tries to create two characters when he has so far been unable to create even one.
Ever see that episode where SpongeBob acts dumb to make Patrick look smart in front of his parents?
Just some advice on not looking like a spaz on the softball field.
A little helpful info about sunscreens.
If you have kids who love animals, you really owe it to them to take a private tour at the Global Wildlife Center.
I just wanted to take a chance to publicly announce my love for my wife. And for no other reason than those she is already aware of.
Be aware that in order to get yourself the room and rate you are hoping for, you may have to book well in advance.
Can you be an agent provocateur without even realizing it? MSNBC should hire Rush Limbaugh to find out.
A little examination of the common problems our feet experience, plus some tips on staving them off and treating them after it's too late.
Brain-dead conservatives who actually believe that Obama has done more damage to the country than Bush are pushing for secession all over the South. I say give 'em Texas and let them appoint Rush Limbaugh fuehrer.
Learn how to determine which hand held a coin while you back was turned.
Ever wonder why supermarkets seem to have been laid out by a drunk?
Did you know that the sex part of the Kama Sutra takes up just once chapter?
Some ways for those suffering from the mistakes of Bush and Cheney's reliance on voodoo economics to make a little extra cash, and maybe even a lot of extra cash, without leaving their living room.
My list of my top ten favorite songs from my favorite band.
Attttt laaaasssssssttttt.
In the market for a computer router? Here's how to locate the perfect router for your price needs.
A breakdown of the different types of investments available.
In the future, ringtone readers will probably join palmists, phrenologists and tasseographers in the field of divination.
Did you know that cats can pass the Black Death to humans?
The race on Star Trek that most closely resembles humans are not the humans, but the Ferengi.
We all know a movie about Susan Boyle is coming. Who will play her? Helena Bonham Carter and Boyle look to have been separated at birth, but wouldn't an actress be a better choice?
You may be looking for a lost pension, or a lost pension may actually be looking for you. Here's how to find out.
Banks love to call these things home improvement loans, but you can use a home equity loan for much more.
Now that you have mastered outdoors cricket, it's time to move the game indoors, wot wot.
Forget all that over the counter medicine. What you may already have inside your home can probably treat that toothache just as effectively, if not better.
An overview of what telekinesis is.
We can all use some extra money in this era of the Bush Depression. Here are three ways to do so.
500 channels of narrowcasting television has been promised for almost thirty years now. The lessons of the march toward 100 channels provides a glimpse of an awful, awful future.
Yes, that's right, how to make your own fire extinguisher.
Tips and hints on how to make your trip to Disney World filled with more pleasure than frustration.
What do you need to know about hangovers? For one thing, the Latin name for the conditions is veisalgia?
Some simple advice on finding a career you love.
Be like Ken Burns and bring you still images to life in DVD form.
Our standardized-test educational ideology in action: I was told by AC to make it clear that this submission, placed into the Humor section, is not actually a piece of real reportage. And unlike Fox News, I decided to comply with such a request.
Lasagnacat.com is easily one of the most surreal and bizarre web sites you'll ever visit.
Woman arrested at Gulf Breeze (FL) High School for wearing trenchcoat and bringing guns to school. Lunatic or sentinel?
Bye-bye Mr. Obama. Who knew you'd be roasting in hell alongside Bush, Karl, and Cheney?
I am looking for someone to help me organize a protest against the actual person who is the cause of America's problems. Would you like to organize a day of tossing dog poop on G.W. Bush's house?
Tired of hearing Marco Polo yet? Here are some swimming pool games so you'll never have to hear that annoying catechism again.
Let's admit it: there are certain songs that have just been used in too many movies, TV shows and commercials already. The madness must end!
No, not about the Lost Colony of Roanoke. This is about the soon-to-be myth of a Republican Party.
That sound you hear is the liberal support for Barack Obama flushing down the drain. Why do Democratic Presidents always slide headlong to the right?
Bobby Collins has been making people laugh for a long time, but in this exclusive AC interview he shows a serious side.
An overview of the meaning behind some popular flowers.
Having trouble sleeping? Pop these movies into the DVD player at night and prepare to drift right off.
Should you go with stainless steel or polished chrome? Brushed nickel or polished nickel? Wrought iron or bronze?
Dick Cheney didn't open his mouth much during all of 2008. Come 2009 he can't keep it closed. He must be afraid his war profits are going to go down, too.
Did McDonald's not realize that they have on their hands what could potentially be the "Where's the beef" of the 21st century?
"Long overdue" agree most TV critics.
Anything is worth getting Michael Bloomberg off TV; especially replacing him with a man who actually knows the value of your dollars.
Still following the story of the Octomom? Watch the Simpsons episode Eight Misbehavin' instead and you will know exactly how this thing is going to turn out...except for the end.
Want to save America? Stick a gun in your Congressman's mouth and demand that the laws regarding mergers and acquisitions be changed or you'll pull the trigger.
Answers you need to know to understand the question.
Think that a CEO can't teach you anything? Boy, are you wrong. I have learned four very valuable lessons that will make my life so much easier and so much more profitable. And that's all that matters.
This should be the real freaking cause of freaking outrage!
A look at the benefits of shock treatment, as it used to be called.
This is my cast for a movie version of the Simpsons that can never be until ALL these people die.
I have a plan to save the economy. This plan is so great that I discarded two other plans. And both those plans were better than any Republican plan. Which, I admit, is not saying a lot, but they really were great plans.
It seems obvious that Joaquin Phoenix's career change is an act. But even when you are in on the gag, practical jokes can still pack a punch.
The song of American sung by Mr. Paine has ever since been corrupted by the annoying hiss of rampant conservatism that apparently has as its prime directive the inhibition of progress at every turn.
I have have picked up enough to accurately instruct amateur do it yourself-ers on how to replace a bathroom fan.
Is a tanning bed really safer than the sun? Are there any bona fide positive effects to using a tanning bed?
According to my personal calculations, David Fincher is next in line to win a Best Director Oscar...even though he has no movie scheduled for release this year.
Penn Jillette is roughly an entire foot taller than my wife and outweighs her by who knows how much. Even so, she cowed Penn into asserting that proof has been forwarded that God does not exist.
Every single time a new copy of Goodnight Moon is bought, a delusion, drug-addicted criminal adds a little more to his fortune. If you must buy Goodnight Moon, get a used copy.
What defines something as a work of art? And that does definition cover the remote control?
Repressed guilt, of course, foments in the subconscious and seeks always to rise to the surface of the consciousness. Americans have yet to starkly confront the fact that this country has a Holocaust in our archives.
A literary analysis of Orlando, by Virginia Woolf.
White men raping black women was not even considered a crime for much of American history. One particularly stupid South Carolina Governor actually questioned if such a thing was possible.
Una Merkel is not a household name, but she should be. They don't make them like her anymore, because they don't write intelligent women parts much anymore.
If I were an Oscar voter, I'd have nominated Anita Bryant for Best Supporting Actress for her offbeat and edgy portrayal of a Christian.
Many African-Americans turned to the communists in the 1930s because they were the only party that gave a damn about them.
Gus Van Sant understands that this film is not about a guy who few can relate to, but rather a leader who represents the often gullible and clueless majority.
The adaptability of comedy is best expressed in the way that comic films have addressed the static conventions of a love story by addressing it through the prism of an ever-changing social milieu.
Lux Interior is, arguably, the single most influential person in what is today know as alternative music. He died in early February, but the conservative media didn't see fit to notice it.
Venus was so named by the ancient Romans who looked to the sky and saw the perfection of the brightest light in the night sky, aside from the moon, and likened it to their perfect representation of womanhood.
These three novels taken together reveal much of what America was like in the first decade of the 21st century despite being written over fifty years earlier.
A little overview of the possibility of wormholes.
An overview of the different types of light switches available.
Alice in Wonderland syndrome is the name given to an actual medical disorder. Why it was named this will become apparent when you read about the symptoms.
Know the name Frederick Douglass, don't you? But did you know that Garnet was just as important a figure at the time that Douglass lived?
In 1989, an asteroid with the almost impossibly sexy name of 4581 Asclepis was found by scientists to have passed directly through the spot in space where the Earth had been a mere hours before.
Every day the signs left behind by hobos are disappearing. It's a shame.
Do you know? They have performed a great service to the world; far greater than they should have.
What weird ultra-right wing rule was instituted in 1957? What did all the Best Actor characters of 1983 have in common? Who received the first Best Actor nod for a musical?
What is the disgusting secret ingredient of Spanish Fly? What is it about the look of oysters and the expense of caviar that make them common aphrodisiacs.
Gardner turned out to be a Dean Martin impersonator and after visiting his web site and catching some video of his performance I knew I had to interview.
Does anybody, especially a proven failure, really even need fifteen million dollars a year?
I'm not one to push the idea of giving gifts nobody needs and you can't afford, but here are three ideas for a Valentine's Day gifts.
With one fateful pitch, the game of baseball changed forever.
Is this just another urban legend? Hint: No.
Why is that Don Knotts is never mentioned in the discourse of great film comics from Harold Lloyd to Jerry Lewis?
Twenty years and over 400 episodes make for quite bit to choose from.
It can be eaten. It can be used for special effects. It can treat snake bites and the measles. Use it for a bird feeder.
Few things in life are more annoying than a broken car horn.
Do you remember Night Flight on the USA Network or IRS The Cutting Edge on MTV?
Some tips and hints on writing letter of condolence.
Have you seen that bewildering PSA where big time drug abuser Chevy Chase is actually put in charge of preaching parental responsibility.
Notes from Underground acts as an opening salvo in the argument of whether looking at the world through the eyes of another means it is acceptable to situate oneself behind the eyes of a madman.
Smoke Signals signals that the lies and myths of the cinematic representation of Indians should be put behind filmmakers forever.
The clash between the progressive ideas of Harvey Milk and the reactionary resistance to change of Dan White resembles the clash between the progressive ideas of Thomas Paine and the reactionary resistance to change of King George III.
A rhetorical analysis of two of Barack Obama's speeches.
The question of where the influence of television on society exists must begin with a determination of who wields that influence, but it does not necessarily end there.
An analysis of how Walter Benjamin and John Berger's theories conflict and coincide.
Ever ask yourself whether Gatsby is really as great as he made out to be?
Of the entire history of American film, which four movies would you pick to reveal humanity to visitors from another world?
Nashville reveals how the two worlds of show business and politics have become inextricably intertwined.
Both Hobbes and Locke agree upon the notion that individuals are capable of seeking personal satisfaction without the introduction of a sovereign overseer.
The successful rebuilding, indeed the successful recreation, of Chicago stands as a titanic symbol of what Americans can do with all their technological innovation and the seemingly inexhaustible natural resources at the country's disposal
The names Carnegie, Rockefeller, Morgan and Vanderbilt should be hung on a wall of shame, rather than be heroes that students are urged to look up to.
Acting the fool, playing dumb, applying lipstick during an exam...none of these are guaranteed to drive a teacher crazy. Instead you have to pick on the raw nerve of America's indifference to education.
Could it be that the true definition of a depression is the revolutionary effect it has on its citizens?
The conventional view of Poe's story is that the narrator is clearly mad... but is he really?
The status of the federal budgets since 2001 has been one of increased spending in sectors devoted to security and defense, as well as paying for a war with no end in sight, that has had the effect of bloating the deficit.
Federalist Paper 10 was written by James Madison and it specifically addresses the issue of the power and inherent danger of factional interests.
Hypocrisy is a thing Rev. Dimmesdale knows well. That is why he only supported McCain in public, while secretly backing Obama.
While the literal text that all men are created equal may be somewhat truthful, the spirit in which the document was written does not come close to supporting the basic contention.
A little story about an inventor, a fraud and why electricity works better today than it would have if Edison had been allowed to ruin things.
The quest to fulfill the American Dream in this movie finds obstacles in the form of the lofty language used by the more educated and the confusion of consumerism as the goal of the American Dream with self-improvement.
The power of these films as either propaganda or art lies in the insistence to portray an idealized representation of small town America before introducing a threat that may be impossible for some to identify because nothing looks different.
PBS is the last best hope for alternative programming that is not controlled by corporate influence and we cannot allow it to look to compete for a media buyer's lust.
The downfall of Macbeth and Lady Macbeth is caused by two sides of the same coin. Each comes to a point at which they made a decision about how to respond to the forces of fate.
A general overview of what you need to know about OCD if you suspect you or someone you know may be a sufferer.
To assume that it is possible to understand a work of art solely by understanding the intent of the artist is to make a leap of faith.
The film dares to suggest that racial tensions in American are constructed upon a solid foundation of disempowerment that also confuses the producer/consumer relationship as an extension of all societal relationships.
The separation of powers and the system of checks and balances is the single most useful aspect of the American democracy despite the fact it paradoxically seems to place limits upon the powers in charge.
Determining the morality of the FBI's eventual tactics to bring the Klan terrorists to justice is particularly difficult precisely because of one aspect of the film: the audience knows the suspects are guilty.
American culture is not a harmless invasion because it is even more successful in actual battlegrounds attempting to enforce democracy upon foreign nations that are perhaps not quite ready to make that leap.
The political aspect of seeming rather than being is perhaps at the heart of the issues facing people today.
The epitome of absolutism in both theory and execution took place in France under the aegis of King Louis XIV.
The primary difference between the absolutism practiced in the Hapsburg empire and in France, was that Leopold was severely tempered by the autonomy possessed by the nobility.
One of the themes that Shakespeare employs in Hamlet is how revenge serves to create an endless and unceasing cycle of vengeance.
So long, George. Don't let the door hit you on the way out. And listen for clicks when you pick up the phone: you are now officially a terrorist suspect.
The eager desire to buy things without giving thought to consequence of necessity or the long term ramifications of debt has created a system of consumerism that now artificially gives birth to desires that most people never knew they had.
Thelma and Louise seems to be an attempt to create a female buddy picture, but they have more in common with Warner Brothers gangsters than Butch and Sundance.
The justification for this ascension of Luther as the single most influential person in the western world over the past millennium rests less upon what is known than what shall forever remain speculation.
Mr. Schwamp is one of the greatest mysterious in the history of American television.
The shattered remnants of this country following the upheaval of the 1960s left us looking for a way to define ourselves. Is DeNiro the cinematic representation of this?
The evidence has become overwhelmingly convincing in presenting the case that the Bush administration engaged in systemic manipulation of intelligence about Iraq.
On the verge of inauguration, I feel like I am waking up from a nightmare. Of course, the contempt that Bush displayed was all too real.
Don't have a lot of money to spend on redecorating the house? Here are some simple and effective ways to get the job done.
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